m* 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

EDUG.- 
PSYCH. 
LIBRARY 

GIFT  OF 


Mrs.   Harold  Bruce 


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" 


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5 


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The  Real  Diary 
Of  a  Real   Boy 


By 

Henry  A.  Shute 

Author  of  "Sequil,"  "Letters  to  Beany,"  "Real 
Boys,"  etc.,  etc. 


1917 

The  Reilly  &  Britton  Co. 

Chicago 


Copyright,  1902,  by  Henry  A.  Shuie 

Copyright,  1903,  by  Henry  A.  Shute 

Copyright,  1906,  by  The  Everett  Press  Co. 


EDUC- 
PSYCH. 
LIBRARY 


95*^7 


Introduction 

IN  the  winter  of  1901-02,  while 
rummaging  an  old  closet  in  the 
shed  -  chamber  of  my  father's 
house,  I  unearthed  a  salt-box  which 
had  been  equipped  with  leather 
hinges  at  the  expense  of  considerable 
ingenuity,  and  at  a  very  remote  pe- 
riod. In  addition  to  this,  a  hasp  of 
the  same  material,  firmly  fastened 
by  carpet-tacks  and  a  catch  of  bent 
wire,  bade  defiance  to  burglars,  mid- 
night marauders,  and  safe-breakers. 

With  the  aid  of  a  tack -hammer 
the  combination  was  readily  solved, 
and  an  eager  examination  of  the  con- 
tents of  the  box  disclosed: — 

F.      052 


Introduction 

1.  Fish-line  of  braided  shoema- 
ker's thread,  with  perch  hook,  to 
which  adhered  the  mummied  re- 
mains of  a  worm  that  lived  and  flour- 
ished many,  many  years  ago. 

2.  Popgun  of  pith  elder  and  hoop- 
skirt  wire. 

3.  Horse-chestnut  bolas,  calcu- 
lated to  revolve  in  opposite  directions 
with  great  velocity,  by  an  up-and- 
down  motion  of  the  holder's  wrist; 
also  extensively  used  for  the  adorn- 
ment of  telegraph-wires, — there  were 
no  telephones  in  those  days, — and 
the  cause  of  great  profanity  amongst 
linemen. 

4.  More  fish-hooks  of  the  ring  va- 
riety, now  obsolete. 

5.  One  blood  alley,  two  chinees,  a 

[6] 


Introduction 

parti-colored  glass  agate,  three  pe- 
wees,  and  unnumbered  drab-colored 
marbles. 

6.  Small  bow  of  whalebone,  with 
two  arrows. 

7.  Six-inch  bean-blower,  for  school 
use — a  weapon  of  considerable  range 
and  great  precision  when  used  with 
judgment  behind  a  Guyot's  Com- 
mon School  Geography. 

8.  Unexpended  ammunition  for 
same,  consisting  of  putty  pellets. 

9.  Frog's  hind  leg,  extra  dry. 

10.  Wing  of  bluejay,  very  ditto. 

11.  Letter  from  "Beany,"  post- 
marked "Biddeford,  Me.,"  and  ex- 
pressing great  indignation  because 
"Pewt"  "hasent  wrote." 

12.  Copy-book  inscribed  "Diry." 

m 


Introduction 

The  examination  of  this  copy-book 
lasted  the  rest  of  the  day,  and  it  was 
read  with  the  peculiar  pleasure  one 
experiences  in  reviewing  some  of  the 
events  of  a  happy  boyhood. 

With  the  earnest  hope  that  others 
may  experience  a  little  of  the  pleas- 
ure I  gained  from  the  reading,  I  sub- 
mit the  "Diry"  to  the  public. 

Henry  A.  Shute. 

Exeter,  N.  H.,  Sept.  23,  1902. 


[8] 


FATHER  thot  i  aught  to  keep 
a  diry,  but  i  sed  i  dident  want 
to,  because  i  coodent  wright 
well  enuf,  but  he  sed  he  wood  give 
$1000  dolars  if  he  had  kept  a  diry 
when  he  was  a  boy. 

Mother  said  she  gessed  nobody 
wood  dass  to  read  it,  but  father  said 
everybody  would  tumble  over  each 
other  to  read  it,  anyhow  he  wood 
give  $1000  dolars  if  he  had  kept  it. 
i  told  him  i  wood  keep  one  regular  if 
he  wood  give  me  a  quarter  of  a  dolar 
a  week,  but  he  said  i  had  got  to  keep 
it  anyhow  and  i  woodent  get  no 
quarter  for  it  neither,  but  he  wood- 
ent ask  to  read  it  for  a  year,  and  i 


The  Real  Diary 

know  he  will  forget  it  before  that,  so 
i  am  going  to  wright  just  what  i 
want  to  in  it.  Father  always  forgets 
everything  but  my  lickins.  he  re- 
members them  every  time  you  bet. 

So  i  have  got  to  keep  it,  but  it 
seems  to  me  that  my  diry  is  worth  a 
quarter  of  a  dolar  a  week  if  fathers 
is  worth  $1000  dolars,  everybody 
says  father  was  a  buster  when  he 
was  a  boy  and  went  round  with 
Gim  Melcher  and  Charles  Talor. 
my  grandmother  says  i  am  the  best 
boy  she  ever  see,  if  i  dident  go  with 
Beany  Watson  and  Pewter  Purin- 
ton,  it  was  Beany  and  Pewt  made 
me  tuf. 

there  dos'nt  seem  to  be  much  to 
put  into  a  diry  only  fites  and  who 

[10] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

got  licked  at  school  and  if  it  ranes  or 
snows,  so  i  will  begin  today- 
December  1,  186-  brite  and  fair, 
late  to  brekfast,  but  mother  dident 
say  nothing,  father  goes  to  boston 
and  works  in  the  cnstum  house  so  i 
can  get  up  as  late  as  i  want  to. 
father  says  he  works  like  time,  but  i 
went  to  boston  once  and  father  did- 
ent do  anything  but  tell  stories 
about  what  he  and  Gim  Melcher 
usted  to  do  when  he  was  a  boy. 
once  or  twice  when  a  man  came  in 
they  would  all  be  wrighting  fast, 
when  the  man  came  in  again  i  sed 
why  do  you  all  wright  so  fast  when 
he  comes  in  and  stop  when  he  goes 
out,  and  the  man  sort  of  laffed  and 
went  out  laffing,  and  the  men  were 


The  Real  Diary 

mad  and  told  father  not  to  bring 
that  dam  little  fool  again. 

December  2.  Skinny  Bruce  got 
licked  in  school  today.  I  told  my 
granmother  about  it  and  she  said  she 
was  glad  i  dident  do  enything  to  get 
punnished  for  and  she  felt  sure  i  never 
wood,  i  dident  tell  her  i  had  to  stay 
in  the  wood  box  all  the  morning 
with  the  cover  down,  i  dident  tell 
father  either  you  bet. 

December  2.  rany.  i  forgot  to  say 
it  raned  yesterday  too.  i  got  cold  and 
have  a  red  rag  round  my  gozzle. 

December  2.  pretty  near  had  a 
fite  in  schol  today.  Skinny  Bruce 
and  Frank  Elliot  got  rite  up  with 
there  fists  up  when  the  bell  rung,   it 

[12] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

was  two  bad,  it  wood  have  been  a 
buly  fite.   i  bet  on  Skinny. 

December  3,  186-  brite  and  fair, 
went  to  church  today.  Me  and  Pewt 
and  Beany  go  to  the  Unitarial 
church,  we  all  joined  Sunday  school 
to  get  into  the  Crismas  festerval. 
they  have  it  in  the  town  hall  and 
have  two  trees  and  supper  and  pres- 
ents for  the  scholars,  so  we  are  go- 
ing to  stay  til  after  crismas  anyway 
the  unitarials  have  jest  built  a  new 
church.  Pewt  and  Beany's  fathers 
painted  it  and  so  they  go  there,  i 
don't  know  why  we  go  there  xcept 
because  they  don't  have  any  church 
in  the  afternoon.  Nipper  Brown  and 
Micky  Gould  go  there,   we  all  went 

[18] 


The  Real  Diary 

into  the  same  class,  our  teacher  is 
Mister  Winsor  a  student,  we  call 
them  stewdcats.  after  we  had  said 
our  lesson  we  all  skinned  out  with 
Mr.  Winsor.  when  we  went  down 
Maple  street  we  saw  2  roosters  fiting 
in  Dany  Wingates  yard,  and  we 
stoped  to  see  it.  i  knew  more  about 
fiting  roosters  than  any  of  the  fellers, 
because  me  and  Ed  Towle  had  fit 
roosters  lots.  Mr.  Winsor  said  i  was 
a  sport,  well  while  the  roosters  were 
fiting,  Sunday  school  let  out  and  he 
skipped  acros  the  street  and  walked 
off  with  one  of  the  girls  and  we  hoi* 
lered  for  him  to  come  and  see  the 
fite  out,  and  he  turned  red  and 
looked  mad.    the  leghorn  squorked 

[  I*] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

and  stuck  his  head  into  a  corner, 
when  a  rooster  squorks  he  wont  fite 
any  more. 

December  5.  snowed  today  and 
school  let  out  at  noon,  this  after- 
noon went  down  to  the  library  to 
plug  stewdcats.  there  was  me  and 
Beany  and  Pewt,  and  Whacker  and 
Pozzy  Chadwick  and  Pricilla  Hobbs. 
Pricilla  is  a  feller  you  know,  and 
Pheby  Talor,  Pheby  is  a  feller  too, 
and  Lubbin  Smith  and  Nigger  Bell, 
he  is'nt  a  nigger  only  we  call  him 
Nigger,  and  Tommy  Tompson  and 
Dutchey  Seamans  and  Chick  Chick- 
ering,  and  Tady  Finton  and  Chitter 
Robinson. 

December  6.  Gim  Wingate  has 
got  a  new  bobtail  coat. 

[15] 


The  Real  Diary 

December  7,  186-  Got  sent  to  bed 
last  nite  for  smoking  hayseed  cigars 
and  can't  go  with  Beany  enny  more. 
It  is  funny,  my  father  wont  let  me 
go  with  Beany  becaus  he  is  tuf,  and 
Pewts  father  wont  let  Pewt  go  with 
me  becaus  im  tuf,  and  Beanys  father 
says  if  he  catches  me  or  Pewt  in  his 
yard  he  will  lick  time  out  of  us. 
Rany  today. 

December  8.  Skinny  Bruce  got 
licked  in  school  today.  Skipy  Moses 
was  in  the  wood  box  all  the  morn- 
ing. 

December  9.  brite  and  fair,  speak- 
in  day  today,  missed  in  Horatius  at 
the  brige. 

December   10.     Clowdy   but    no 

[16] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

rane.  went  to  church,  lots  of  new 
fellers  in  Sunday  school  me  and 
Beany  and  Pewt  and  Pile  Woods 
and  Billy  Folsom  and  Jimmy  Gad 
and  lots  of  others.  Mister  Winsor 
dident  teach  today,  gess  they 
woodent  let  him  on  account  of  the 
rooster  fite. 

December  11.  My  new  boots  from 
Tommy  Gads  came  today,  i  tell  you 
they  are  dumpers,    no  snow  yet. 

December  12.  Crismas  is  pretty 
near,  dont  know  wether  i  shall  get 
ennything.  father  says  i  dont  de- 
sirve  ennything.  you  can  get  gooze- 
berrys  down  to  Si  Smiths  1  dozen 
for  5  cents.  He  has  a  funny  sine  it 
is 

[17] 


The  Real  Diary 

flour 

meal 

molasses 

sugar 

coffee 

tea 

spises 

pork  & 

lard 

salt 

butter 

ham 

eggs 

&so 

December  15.  Fite  at  resess  to- 
day, Gran  Miller  and  Ben  Rundlet. 
Ben  licked  him  easy,  the  fellers 
got  to  stumping  each  other  to  fite. 

[18] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

Micky  Gould  said  he  cood  lick  me 
and  i  said  he  want  man  enuf  and  he 
said  if  i  wood  come  out  behind  the 
school  house  after  school  he  wood 
show  me  and  i  said  i  wood  and  all 
the  fellers  hollered  and  said  they 
wood  be  there.  But  after  school  i 
thaught  i  aught  to  go  home  and  split 
my  kindlings  and  so  i  went  home, 
a  feller  aught  to  do  something  for 
his  family  ennyway.  i  cood  have 
licked  him  if  i  had  wanted  to. 

December  16.  Tady  Finton  got 
licked  in  school  today,  snowed  to- 
day a  little. 

December  17.  rained  in  the  nite 
and  then  snowed  a  little,  it  was  au« 
ful  slipery  and  coming  out  of  church 
Squire  Lane  fell  down  whak  and  Mr. 

L   19  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

Burley  cought  hold  of  the  fence  and 
his  feet  went  so  fast  that  they  seemed 
all  fuzzy,  i  tell  you  if  he  cood  run  as 
fast  as  that  he  cood  run  a  mile  a 
minite. 

December  18.  brite  and  fair,  noth- 
ing particilar.  o  yes,  Skinny  Bruce 
got  licked  in  school. 

December  19.  Cold  as  time. 
Went  to  a  sosiable  tonite  at  the 
Unitarial  vestry,  cant  go  again  be- 
cause Keene  told  mother  i  was  impi- 
dent  to  the  people,  i  want  impident. 
you  see  they  was  making  poetry  and 
all  sitting  around  the  vestry,  they 
wanted  to  play  copenhagin  and  post 
office  and  clap  in  and  clap  out,  but 
Mister  Erl  woodent  let  them  be- 
cause it  was  in  church,  so  they  had 
C20] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

to  play  poetry,  one  person  wood 
give  a  word  and  then  the  oppisite 
person  wood  give  a  word  that  rimed 
with  it.  it  was  auful  silly,  a  girl 
wood  give  the  word  direxion  and 
then  a  stewdcat  wood  say  afTexion 
and  waul  his  eyes  towards  the  girl, 
and  then  another  wood  say  miss,  and 
another  stewdcat  wood  say  kiss  and 
then  he  wood  waul  his  eyes,  and 
when  it  came  my  turn  i  said  what 
rimes  with  jellycake,  and  the  girls 
turned  red  and  the  stewdcats  looked 
tunny,  and  Mister  Burley  said  if  i 
coodent  behave  i  had  better  go 
home.  Keene  needent  have  told 
mother  anyway.  You  jest  wait 
Keene,  and  see  what  will  happen 
some  day. 

[31] 


The  Real  Diary 

December  20.  Bully  skating,  went 
after  school  and  skated  way  up  to 
the  eddy,  was  going  to  skate  with 
Lucy  Watson  but  Pewt  and  Beany 
hollered  so  that  i  dident  dass  to. 
John  Toomey  got  hit  with  a  hockey 
block  rite  in  the  snoot  and  broke 
his  nose. 

December  21.  Brite  and  fair,  no- 
thing particular  to-day.  nobody  got 
licked,  old  Francis  had  his  hand 
done  up  in  a  sling,  he  said  he  had  a 
bile  on  it.  i  tell  you  the  fellers  were 
glad. 

December  22.  Warm  and  rany 
and  spoiled  the  skating,  coodent  do 
anything  but  think  of  Crismas. 

December  23.  Saturday  and  no 
skating,    went  down  to  the  library 

[22] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

to  get  a  book  for  sunday.  me  and 
Beany  were  sticking  pins  into  the 
fellers  and  making  them  holler  and 
Jo  Parsons  the  libarian  jumped  rite 
over  the  counter  and  chased  us  way 
down  to  Mr.  Hams  coffin  shop,  he 
dident  catch  us  either,  then  we 
went  down  town  and  Billy  Swett 
lent  me  a  dime  novel  to  read  sun- 
day,  it  was  named  Billy  Bolegs  a 
sequil  to  Nat  Tod  the  traper.  sequil 
means  the  things  in  Nat  Tod  that 
was  not  finished. 

December  24.  Brite  and  fair. 
Crismas  tomorrow,  went  to  sunday 
school.  Mr.  Lovel  is  our  teacher 
now. 

December  25.  Crismas.  got  a 
new  nife,  a  red  and  white  scarf  and 

[23] 


The  Real  Diary 

a  bag  of  Si  Smiths  goozeberies. 
pretty  good  for  me. 

December  26.  Crismas  tree  at  the 
town  hall,  had  supper  and  got  a 
bag  of  candy  and  a  long  string  of 
pop  corn.  Mr.  Lovel  took  off  the 
presents  and  his  whiskers  caught 
fire,  and  he  hollered  o  hell  right  out. 
that  was  pretty  good  for  a  Sunday 
school  teacher,  wasent  it.  Jimmy 
Gad  et  too  much  and  was  sick. 

December  27.  Beany  has  got  a 
new  striped  shirt  not  a  false  bosom 
but  a  whole  shirt.  Beany  wont 
speak  to  me  now.  Lucy  Watson 
has  got  a  new  blew  hat  with  a 
fether.  she  wont  speak  to  Keene 
and  Cele  eether.  you  jest  wait 
Beany  and  Lucy  and  see. 

C  24  3 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

Jan.  1, 186- Had  an  awful  time  in 
school  today,  me  and  Cawcaw 
Harding  set  together,  when  we 
came  in  from  resess  Cawcaw  reached 
over  and  hit  me  a  bat,  and  i  lent 
him  one  in  the  snoot,  and  he  hit  me 
back,  we  was  jest  fooling,  but  old 
Francis  called  Cawcaw  up  front  to 
lick  him.  i  thought  if  i  went  up  and 
told  him  he  wood  say,  noble  boy  go 
to  your  seat,  i  wont  lick  neether  of 
you.  anyway  i  knew  that  Cawcaw 
wood  tell  on  me,  and  so  i  told  old 
Francis  i  hit  Cawcaw  first,  and  old 
Francis  said  Harry  i  have  had  my 
eye  on  you  for  a  long  time,  and  he 
jest  took  us  up  and  slammed  us  to- 
gether, and  then  he  wood  put  me 
down  and  shake  Cawcaw  and  then 
C  25  3 


The  Real  Diary 

he  wood  put  Cawcaw  down  and 
shake  me  till  my  head  wabbled  and 
he  turned  me  upside  down  and  all 
the  fellers  looked  upside  down  and 
went  round  and  round  and  somehow 
i  felt  silly  like  and  kind  of  like  laffin. 
i  dident  want  to  laff  but  coodent 
help  it.  and  then  he  talked  to  us 
and  sent  us  to  our  seats  and  told  us 
to  study,  and  i  tried  to  but  all  the 
words  in  the  book  went  round  and 
round  and  i  felt  awful  funny  and 
kind  of  wabbly,  and  when  i  went 
home  mother  said  something  was 
the  matter  and  i  told  her  and  then  i 
cried,  i  don't  know  what  i  cried  for, 
becaus  i  dident  ake  any.  father  said 
he  wood  lick  me  at  home  when  i  got 
licked  at  school  and  perhaps  that  was 

[26] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

why  i  cried  ennyway  when  father 
come  home  i  asked  him  if  he  was  a 
going  to  lick  me  and  he  said  not  by 
a  dam  sight,  and  he  gave  me  ten 
cents  and  when  i  went  to  bed  i  got 
laffin  and  crying  all  to  once,  and 
coodent  stop,  and  mother  set  in  my 
room  and  kept  her  hand  on  my  for- 
red  until  i  went  to  sleep,  i  drempt  i 
was  nting  all  the  time,  when  1  get 
big  enuf  there  is  going  to  be  a  fite 
between  me  and  old  Francis,  you  see 
if  there  aint. 

Jan.  2,  Me  and  Beany  has  made 
up.  i  told  him  i  had  ten  cents  and 
then  he  dident  feel  so  big  about  his 
new  shirt,  ennyway  we  went  down 
to  Si  Smiths  and  got  a  dozen  gooze- 
berries  and  then  went  down  to  doc- 
T27] 


The  Real  Diary 

tor  Derborns  and  got  a  glass  of  sody 
water  and  took  turns  drinking  it  and 
seeing  which  cood  gulp  the  loudest. 
Beany  beat. 

Jan.  3.  brite  and  fair.  Went 
down  to  Pewts  tonite  to  make  hay- 
seed cigars.  We  made  5  kinds,  hay- 
seed, sweet  firn,  cornsilk,  mullin 
leeves,  and  grape  vine,  my  mouth 
taisted  aufuly  all  nite. 

Jan.  4.  brite  and  fair.  Pewt  dident 
come  to  school  today,  i  gess  he  was 
sick,  my  mouth  taisted  aufuly  all 
day. 

Jan.  5.  clowdy  and  aufuly  cold. 
Pewt  came  to  school  today  and  got 
a  licking  for  puting  gum  on  Nigger 
Bells  seat.  Nig  set  in  it  til  it  dride 
and  then  tride  to  get  up  and  coodent, 

£28] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

then  old  Francis  come  down  the  ile 
and  snaiked  Nigger  out  and  when  he 
see  the  gum  he  asked  us  who  put  it 
there,  we  all  said  we  dident,  but  he 
licked  Pewt  becaus  he  had  seen  Pewt 
chooing  gum. 

Jan.  6.  it  snowed  last  nite  and  to- 
day. Speaking  in  school  today,  i 
spoke  the  berrial  of  sir  John  More, 
old  Francis  said  he  never  heard  enny- 
thing  wirse  in  his  life,  i  hope  he 
wont  tell  father,  this  afternoon  we 
pluged  stewdcats. 

Jan.  7.  Ed  Towle  has  got  a  gote. 
the  fellers  stumped  me  to  hold  him 
by  the  horns  and  he  buted  me  over 
in  the  slosh,  mother  said  i  had  no 
bisiness  to  be  playing  on  Sunday. 

Jan.  8.  brite  and  fair,  there  is  go- 

[29] 


The  Real  Diary 

ing  to  be  a  nigger  show  in  the  town 
hall  tonite.  father  says  i  cant  go  be- 
caus  i  sassed  aunt  Sarah,  it  is  uncle 
Toms  cabbin. 

Jan.  9.  brite  and  fair.  Beany 
went  to  the  nigger  show,  he  led  one 
of  the  bludhouns  in  the  prosession 
and  got  a  ticket.  Beany  had  on  a 
red  coat  jest  like  the  dogs,  he  said 
it  was  buly. 

Jan.  10.  rany.  Nipper  Brown  is 
the  best  scolar  in  my  class,  i  am  the 
wirst.    i  can  lick  Nipper  easy. 

Jan.  11.  brite  and  fair.  After 
school  me  and  Beany  and  Pewt  and 
Fatty  Melcher  and  Pozzy  Chadwick 
and  lots  of  fellers  went  skating  on 
fresh  river,  i  was  skating  backwerd 
and  i  got  one  leg  in  a  eal  hole,  gosh 

[80] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

the  water  was  cold  and  before  i  got 
home  my  britches  leg  was  all  froze. 

Jan.  12.  nobody  got  licked  in 
school  today,  gess  why,  becaus  there 
wassent  enny  school,  old  Francis 
was  sick,  i  went  skating. 

Jan.  13.  brite  and  —  no  it  was 
rany.  had  a  speling  mach  today  in 
school.  Cele  and  Genny  Morrison 
staid  up  til  the  last  and  then  Cele 
missed  and  set  down  balling,  and 
Genny  beat,  i  cant  stop  to  wright 
enny  more  becaus  i  am  going  to  the 
levee  with  father. 

Jan.  14,  186-  Went  to  a  big  levee 
last  nite  at  the  town  hall.  Bill 
Morrill  and  Nuel  Head  and  Dave 
Quimby  and  Frank  Hervey  got  it 
up.     they  had   Hook  and    Pasons 

[81] 


The  Real  Diary 

quadril  band  of  Haverhil.  father 
bought  a  ticket  becaus  he  was  in  the 
custum  house  and  has  to  be  frends 
with  people,  it  was  splendid,  most 
everybody  went  all  dressed  up  in 
blue  silk  and  red  and  crokay  slippers. 
Ham  Perkins  and  Charlie  Lane  and 
Charley  Piper  and  Chick  Randall 
and  Dan  Ranlet  and  Grace  Morril 
and  the  Head  girls  and  Sweat  girls 
and  Carrie  Towle  and  Sarah  Clark, 
J.  Albert  Clarks  sister  and  the  Mel 
cher  boys  and  they  all  hopped  round 
pretty  lively,  i  tell  you.  i  staid  until 
12  o'clock  and  listened  to  the  band, 
i  never  had  so  good  time  in  my  life. 
Jan.  15.  i  am  all  spekled  over, 
mother  says  she  is  afrade  i  have  got 

[82] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

chicken  pocks,  i  gess  i  have  been  in 
the  hen  koop  to  mutch. 

Jan.  16.  the  speckles  have  all 
gone  of.  doctor  Perry  says  i  et  to 
many  donuts. 

Jan.  18.  brite  and  fair,  yesterday 
to  and  day  before  yesterday  i  have 
forgot. 

Jan.  19.  snowed  all  day.  Me  and 
Beany  is  mad. 

Jan.  20.  father  is  sick  becaus  he 
et  to  mutch  salt  fish  and  potato  and 
pork,  he  is  auful  cross  and  hit  me  a 
bat  today  becaus  i  left  the  door  open, 
i  gess  he  will  be  sorry  when  i  am 
ded. 

Jan.  21.  brite  and  fair,  went  to 
church  in  the  morning  and  in  the 

[33] 


The  Real  Diary 

afternoon  greeced  some  paper  and 
trased  some  pictures. 

Jan.  22.  i  had  to  stay  in  the  wood- 
box  today  for  whispering  to  Whacker 
with  the  cover  down,  i  like  it  becaus 
they  is  a  peep  hole  in  the  box  and 
you  can  see  the  fellers  and  they  cant 
see  you.  by  and  by  Gimmy  Fits- 
gerald  whispered  and  old  Francis  put 
him  in  to  and  we  took  turns  peep- 
ing. 

Jan.  23.  it  raned  hard  all  day  and 
we  had  one  sesion.  Beany  came  over 
and  we  made  up  and  plaid  in  the 
barn  making  fly  boxes. 

Jan.  24.  nothing  much  today, 
rany  in  the  morning  and  froze  at 
night. 

Jan.  25.  brite  and  fair,  everything 

[34] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

was  covered  with  ice  and  when  father 
started  for  the  depot  he  tumbled 
down  the  front  steps  from  the  top  to 
the  botom.  mother  says  he  went 
bumpity  bump  and  his  hat  went  one 
way  and  his  dinner  box  went  the 
other,  i  herd  him  swaring  aufuly 
about  that  dam  boy,  and  i  gess  he 
wood  have  come  up  and  licked  time 
out  of  me,  but  he  had  to  hurry  to  get 
the  train, 

Jan.  26.  jest  as  soon  as  the  skat- 
ing comes  it  has  to  snow  and  spoil  it. 

Jan.  27.  i  coodent  go  out  of  the 
yard  this  afternoon  becaus  i  dident 
put  ashes  on  the  front  steps  before 
father  fell  down  and  so  Pewt  and 
Beany  and  Whacker  and  Nibby 
Hartwell  and  Diddly    Colket    and 

[35] 


The  Real  Diary 

Nipper  and  Prisilla  and  Gim  Wingit 
and  lots  of  the  fellers  came  over 
and  we  had  a  snowball  fite.  mother 
says  she  hops  father  wont  keep  me 
at  home  anuther  afternoon. 

Jan.  28.  brite  and  fair,  it  never 
ranes  Sundays  so  a  feller  cant  go  to 
church. 

Jan.  29.  Nothing  puticular  today, 
it  always  seams  harder  to  go  to 
school  mundays,  more  fellers  gets 
licked  mundays  than  enny  day  in  the 
weak,  i  got  stood  on  the  platform 
with  my  head  in  the  corner  for  look- 
ing of  my  book  today. 

Jan.  30.  brite  and  fair,  i  have  got 
a  auful  chilblane  on  my  heel. 

Jan.  31.  brite  and  fair,  i  was  glad 
today  was  wensday  in  the  afternoon 

[36] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

i  went  skating,  the  students  played 
baseball  on  the  ice. 

Feb.  1.  brite  and  fair,  pretty  soon 
it  will  be  Washintons  berthday, 
and  then  all  the  boys  can  ring  the 
town  bell  at  noon  and  at  nite. 

Feb.  2.  clowdy  but  no  snow,  to- 
morror  will  be  saterday  they  is  only 
2  days  in  the  weak  that  is  wirth  en- 
nything  and  that  is  wensday  and 
saterday  except  in  vacation. 

Feb.  3.  Snowed  like  time  all  the 
forenoon,  in  the  afternoon  me  and 
Pewt  and  Beany  rolled  up  some  big 
snowballs,  then  tonite  we  put  all 
the  balls  together  and  made  a  big 
snowman  rite  in  front  of  Mrs.  Lew- 
ises front  door,  then  we  put  a  old 
hat  on  it  and  hung  a  peace  of  paper 

[37] 


The  Real  Diary 

on  it  and  wrote  man  wanted  on  the 
paper,  tomorrow  all  the  people  who 
go  to  church  will  see  it  and  laflf  be- 
caus  Mister  Lewis  got  a  devorse. 
they  will  be  some  fun  tomorrow. 

Feb.  5.  i  coodent  wright  enny- 
thing  last  nite  becaus  i  got  sent  to 
bed  and  got  a  licking,  i  tell  you  we 
got  in  a  auful  scrape.  Sunday  morn- 
ing me  and  Pewt  and  Beany  went 
out  erly  to  see  our  snowman,  he 
was  there  and  when  people  began  to 
go  by  they  began  to  latT,  and  most 
of  the  people  said  it  was  the  funniest 
thing  they  ever  see  and  who  ever  put 
it  there  was  a  pretty  smart  feller,  so 
we  said  we  did  it  and  Pewt  said  he 
thought  of  it  ferst  and  Beany  said  he 

[38] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

did,  and  i  said  i  did  most  of  the 
werk. 

Well,  pretty  soon  some  people 
came  along  and  looked  at  it  and  said 
it  was  a  shame  and  they  went  over 
to  pull  of  the  paper  and  she  came 
out  and  see  it,  and  she  took  a  broom 
and  nocked  it  over  and  broke  it  all 
up.  and  then  she  went  rite  down  to 
my  house  to  tell  father,  then  she 
went  over  to  Beanys  house  and  then 
up  to  Pewts.  well  after  church 
father  took  me  over  to  her  house, 
and  Beany  was  there  with  his  father 
and  Pewt  with  his  father,  she  said 
she  wood  have  us  arested  for  it.  but 
they  talked  a  long  time  and  after  a 
while  she  said  if  our  fathers  wood 

[39] 


The  Real  Diary 

lick  us  and  make  us  saw  and  split  a 
cord  of  wood  she  woodent  say  no 
more  about  it.  when  we  went  out 
father  said,  i  never  see  such  dam 
boys  did  you  Brad,  did  you  Wats, 
and  they  said  they  never  did.  so  we 
have  got  to  saw  and  split  that  wood 
and  we  got  licked  two. 

Feb.  6.  brite  and  fair,  me  and 
Pewt  and  Beany  sawed  and  split 
some  wood  for  Misses  Lewis. 

Feb.  7.  brite  and  fair,  sawed 
some  more  wood,  me  and  Pewt  and 
Beany. 

Feb.  8.  brite  and  fair,  split  some 
more  wood,  me  and  Pewt  and 
Beany. 

Feb.  9.  Fatty  Melcher  and  Caw- 
caw  Harding,  Chitter  Robinson  and 

[40] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

Medo   Thurston   helped   saw  some 
more  wood. 

Feb.  10.  Brite  and  fair,  this  af- 
ternoon Whack  Pozzy  and  Boog 
Chadwick,  Dutchy  Semans,  Nigger 
Bell  Pop  Clark,  Shinny  Thing  and 
Pile  Wood  all  come  down  with  saws 
and  axes  and  helped  us  saw  that 
wood,  we  worked  all  the  afternoon 
and  £ot  it  done  and  piled  up  before 
dark,  then  Misses  Lewis  asked  us 
in  and  gave  us  some  buly  donuts 
and  some  sweatened  water  and  we 
sung  and  told  stories  and  before  we 
went  we  told  her  we  was  sorry  we 
bilt  the  snowman  and  she  said  she 
was  sorry  two.  then  when  we  went 
away  we  give  3  cheers  for  her, 

[41] 


The  Real  Diary 

Feb.  11.  brite  and  fair,  i  shant 
forget  last  Sunday  very  soon. 

Feb.  12.  rany  today,  i  dont  care 
becaus  i  havent  got  to  saw  enny 
more  wood. 

Feb.  13.   still  rany.    i  dont  care. 

Feb.  14.  pretty  cold  today,  going 
to  have  a  new  kind  of  speling  mach 
tomorrow. 

Feb.  15.  Got  to  the  head  in  spell- 
ing today,  old  Francis  makes  us  all 
stand  up  in  the  ile  and  gives  us  a  lot 
of  words  to  spell  and  then  we  wright 
them  down  on  our  slates  and  then 
the  head  feller  or  girl  changes  slates 
with  the  foot  feller  or  girl  and  so  on 
and  then  old  Francis  wrights  the 
words  on  the  blackboard  and  then 
we  mark  each  others  slates.    John 

[42] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

Flanygin  was  the  foot  feller  and  had 
my  slate,  well  most  of  Johns  words 
was  wrong,  but  John  marked  mine 
all  write,  i  gess  John  dident  know 
it,  but  ther  was  4  or  5  of  my  words 
speled  wrong,  i  set  out  to  tell  old 
Francis  but  dident  dass  to  becaus  he 
licked  me  for  teling  that  i  paisted 
Cawcaw  Harding  that  time,  so  i 
kept  still  and  kept  at  the  head  and 
John  kept  at  the  foot,  i  hope  John 
will  do  it  again  tomorrow. 

Feb.  16.   Beat  in  speling  today. 

Feb.  17.    beat  in  speling  today. 

Feb.  19.  Beat  in  speling  today, 
old  Francis  is  a  going  to  give  a  prise 
tomorrow,  i  told  father  i  was  pretty 
sure  to  get  it  and  he  said  it  will  be 
the  first  one.     Aunt  Sarah  asked 

[43] 


The  Real  Diary 

him  if  he  took  many  prises,  and  he 
said  he  dident  get  much  of  a  prise 
when  he  got  me.  i  gess  he  wont  say 
that  tomorrow  when  i  bring  my 
prise  home. 

Feb.  20.  i  dident  get  the  prise, 
you  see  yesterday  John  Flanygin 
spelt  more  words  write  than  Gimmy 
Fitsgerald  and  Gimmy  went  to  the 
foot,  when  we  marked  slates  Gimmy 
marked  9  of  my  words  wrong  out  of 
20,  and  i  had  to  go  down  most  to 
where  John  Flannygin  was.  old 
Francis  said  he  dident  beleave  i  had 
aught  to  have  staid  at  the  head  so 
long  as  i  did  and  i  was  afraid  he 
wood  lick  me  and  John  but  he  did- 
ent. he  said  he  was  ashamed  and 
disapointed  in  me  but  i  gess  he  was 
[  44  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

not  the  only  one  who  was  disapoint- 
ed.  i  had  told  Pewt  and  Beany  i 
wood  treat  on  what  father  wood  give 
me  for  getting  the  prise.  Pewt  and 
Beany  was  both  mad,  and  are  going 
to  lay  for  Gimmy. 

Feb.  21,  i  forgot  to  say  what  the 
wether  was  most  every  day  this 
weak,  it  has  been  brite  and  fair  most 
of  the  time,  only  it  snowed  two  days 
and  raned  most  of  one  day.  brite 
and  fair  today  and  cold  as  time. 

Feb.  23,  Clowdy  and  cold.  Pop 
Clark  had  to  crawl  through  a  chair 
today,  he  went  through  so  fast  old 
Francis  only  hit  him  2  bats.  Tady 
Finton  and  Nigger  Bell  both  got 
licked.  Tady  dident  cry  or  holler  a 
bit,  but  Nigger  hollered  just  like  a 
C  45  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

girl,  i  supped  Nigger  was  more  of 
a  man  than  that. 

Feb.  24,  Beany  and  Pewt  got 
punching  today  in  school  and  old 
Francis  made  them  stand  on  the 
platform  with  their  arms  round  each 
others  neck  all  the  forenoon,  i  bet 
they  felt  pretty  cheep.  Brite  and 
fair. 

Feb.  25,  i  have  got  a  new  pair  of 
britches  at  erl  and  Cutts.  i  gess 
Beany  aint  the  only  one  which  has 
good  clothes  eather. 

Feb.  26.  Nothing  particular  to- 
day. Went  down  to  old  Heads  shop 
to  see  the  stewdcats  ride  velosipedes. 
There  is  going  to  be  a  race  in  the 
town  hall  tomorrow  night. 

Feb.  27.   Father  said  i  cood  go  to 

t  46  3 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

the  velosipede  race  if  i  woodent  miss 
splitting  my  kindlings  for  a  week,  i 
did  miss  them  twice  but  mother  did- 
ent  tell  him  and  if  he  dont  ask  her 
before  tonight  i  am  all  right. 

Feb.  28.  Last  night  went  to  the 
velosipede  race,  it  was  jest  ripping, 
i  got  down  before  the  door  opened. 
Bob  Carter  came  pretty  soon  but  he 
woodent  let  us  in  until  the  ticket 
man  came.  Mr.  Watson  was  the 
ticket  man  and  he  let  me  and  Beany 
and  Shinny  Thing  in  free,  they  had 
a  lot  of  seats  in  the  center  of  the  hall, 
and  the  rest  round  the  edges,  and  a 
open  track  around  the  hall.  On  the 
platform  set  Bill  Morrill  and  Dave 
Quimby  and  John  Getchell  and 
Eben  Folsom.    Most  of  the  fellers 

[47] 


The  Real  Diary 

in  the  race  were  stewdcats  and  most 
of  the  stewdcats  and  the  girls  had 
the  seats  in  the  center  of  the  hall. 
The  stewdcats  who  were  to  race  were 
Stone  and  Stuart  and  Lee  and  Clif- 
ford and  August  Belmont  and  Swift 
and  Nichols  and  George  Kent  and 
Cutler  and  Johnny  Heald  and  Gear 
and  Burly  and  Bob  Morison.  the 
townies  were  Charlie  Gerish  and 
Doctor  Prey,  each  feller  rode  round 
the  hall  twice  to  get  going  like  time, 
and  then  Dave  Quimby  hollered  go 
and  he  had  to  ride  around  the  hall 
until  he  had  rid  a  quarter  of  a  mile. 
When  the  stewdcats  rode  all  the 
other  stewdcats  yelled  and  the  girls 
waved  their  handkerchiefs  and  the 

[48] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

band  played  and  the  excitement  was 
dreadful. 

After  a  while  Docter  Prey  came 
out  and  all  the  townies  got  up  and 
cheered  and  the  band  played  the  star 
spangled  banner,  because  Doctor  fit 
in  the  war,  and  Doctor  took  of  his 
hat  and  bowed  and  then  rode  round 
like  time,  he  rode  faster  than  most 
every  one  of  them  except  Stone  and 
Stuart  and  Lee  and  Clifford  and  Bel- 
mont and  Swift,  i  gess  if  Doc  hadent 
fit  so  hard  in  the  war  he  wood  have 
beat  them  all.  and  then  Charlie 
Gerish  came  out  and  all  the  townies 
hollered  again  and  Charlie  made  his 
legs  go  so  fast  that  they  coodent 
hardly  see  them,  and  jest  before  the 

[  49] 


The  Real  Diary 

last  time  around  his  velosipede 
slipped  and  Charlie  went  fluking 
over  three  settees,  he  jumped  on  his 
velosipede  again  and  went  around 
with  his  britches  all  torn  but  he  did- 
ent  get  around  quite  quick  enuf  to 
beat  Stone,  then  the  townies  yelled 
and  said  it  was  a  cheat  and  the 
stewdcats  hissed,  and  some  of  the 
townies  said  they  could  lick  the 
stewdcats,  and  the  stewdcats  said 
they  wasent  man  enuf  and  it  looked 
as  if  there  was  a  going  to  be  a  row 
when  Charlie  Gerrish  got  up  and 
said  he  was  beat  fair  and  there  was- 
ent enything  to  get  mad  about,  and 
that  he  would  like  to  shake  hands 
with  the  stewdcat  which  beat  him, 
and  he  wood  like  to  race  him  an- 

[50] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

other  time  but  he  coodent  then  be- 
cause he  hurt  his  leg,  and  then  they 
shook  hands  and  every  one  felt  buly, 
and  the  stewdcats  said  hooray  for 
Charlie  and  the  townies  hollered 
hooray  for  Stone,  and  Bill  Morrill 
made  a  speech  and  give  the  prise  to 
Stone  and  the  band  played  and  we 
all  went  home,  i  bet  Doc.  Prey  and 
Charlie  Gerrish  can  lick  any  two 
stewdcats  in  the  hall. 

Mar.  2.  i  went  to  a  show  in  the 
town  hall  tonight,  it  was  a  singing 
show  called  the  haymakers,  it  was 
splendid.  Mr.  Gale  got  it  up.  they 
have  been  practising  all  winter.  Alice 
Gewell  was  a  dary  maid  and  Charlie 
Lane  was  a  katydid,  and  lots  of  oth- 
ers sung,    it  was  splendid. 

[51] 


The  Real  Diary 

Mar.  3.  Cloudy  but  no  rane.  went 
down  to  Langley's  store  for  some 
juju  paste,  saw  a  nte.  Old  Kize  tried 
to  arest  Bill  Hartnit  and  Bill  lam- 
med time  out  of  him  and  after  a 
while  old  Swain  came  up  and  arrest- 
ed him. 

Mar.  4.  Brite  and  fair.  Went  to 
church  to-day,  the  fernace  smoked 
so  the  people  had  to  come  home. 
They  say  they  will  have  it  fixed  be- 
fore next  Sunday,    i  hope  not. 

Mar.  5.  School  closes  tomorrow, 
i  got  kept  after  school  tonight  for 
whispering  to  Cawcaw. 

Mar.  6.  School  closed  today  and 
we  voted  for  prises.  Mr.  Gordon 
give  4  prizes  for  the  2  best  fellers  and 
2  best  girls  for  the  term.  So  we  voted 

[52] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

for  them.  Most  of  the  fellers  wanted 
to  vote  for  Jenny  Morrison  because 
she  was  the  prettiest  girl  there,  and 
can  go  the  greeshun  bend  better  than 
enny  girl  in  the  school,  and  most 
of  the  girls  dident  like  Jenny  Morri- 
son and  wanted  to  vote  for  Dora 
Moses  and  Mary  Luverin,  and  the 
girls  wanted  to  vote  for  Lees  Moses 
because  he  was  polite  to  them  and 
rather  go  with  the  girls  than  the 
boys  and  we  holler  at  him,  but  he 
can  fite  for  i  saw  him  lick  Gim  Erly 
one  day,  and  Gim  Erly  can  rassle 
better  than  enny  one  but  Jack  Mel- 
vil.  well  most  of  the  fellows  wanted 
to  vote  for  Tady  Finton  or  Pop 
Clark  or  Skinny  Bruce  because  they 
never  get  mad  or  cry  when  they  are 

[53] 


The  Real  Diary 

licked  and  make  lots  of  fun,  but  we 
knew  they  coodent  get  the  prize  for 
they  are  all  the  time  raising  time  and 
getting  licked  and  so  we  voted  for 
Honey  Donovan  and  Moses  Gordon, 
and  when  the  votes  was  counted 
Dora  Moses  and  Mary  Luvering  got 
the  prizes  for  the  girls  and  Mose 
Gordon  and  Nigger  Bell  for  the  boys. 
That  was  all  write  about  Dora  Moses 
and  Mary  Luverin  because  they  was 
the  best  girls  and  always  went  to- 
gether, but  we  dident  like  it  very 
well  about  Mose  and  Nigger,  only 
we  thought  that  so  long  as  Mose's 
father  give  the  prizes  Mose  ought  to 
have  one.  i  gess  most  of  the  girls 
must  have  voted  for  Nig,  because 

[54] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

they  was  mad  with  Lees  Moses,  i 
know  what  they  was  mad  at  too. 

Then  the  first  class  give  old  Fran- 
cis a  present  of  some  books  and  when 
he  turned  over  the  leaves  there  was 
twenty  dollars  there,  and  old  Francis 
was  surprised  and  made  a  fine  speech, 
and  the  people  all  clapped  becaus  he 
made  such  a  good  speech,  i  heard 
him  saying  it  over  the  night  before 
when  i  was  kept  after  school.  No 
school  for  2  weeks. 

Mar.  7-  When  my  father  was  a 
boy  he  was  the  best  titer  in  this 
town. 

Mar.  9.  Went  down  to  Fatty 
Melchers  today  to  make  a  violin,  we 
cut  a  piece  of  wood  the  shape  of  a 

[55] 


The  Real  Diary 

violin  then  take  some  horsehairs  and 
strech  them  over  a  brige  and  you 
can  play  a  tune  on  them,  in  school 
i  learnt  to  play  on  a  piece  of  india 
rubber,  you  pull  a  piece  of  elastic 
out  of  your  congres  boot  and  hold  it 
in  your  teeth  and  pull  it  tite  and 
snap  it  with  your  fingers  and  you  can 
play  tunes  that  you  can  hear  but  no 
one  else  can.  old  Francis  saw  me 
snapping  the  elastic  and  came  and 
took  it  away,  i  have  got  plenty 
more  in  my  boot,  i  am  saving  money 
to  buy  me  a  cornet,  when  i  get  enuf 
i  am  a  going  to  play  in  the  band. 

Mar.  10.  plesent  day.  old  Si 
Smiths  big  white  dog  and  a  bull  dog 
had  an  awful  fite  today,  neether 
licked  and  they  had  to  squert  water 

[56] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

on  them  to  seperate  them,  they  did- 
ent  make  no  noise,  only  jest  hung 
write  on  to  each  others  gozzles.  my 
aunt  Sarah  said  it  was  dredful,  and 
she  staid  to  the  window  to  see  how 
dredful  it  was. 

Mar.  11,  186-  Went  to  church  in 
the  morning,  the  fernace  was  all 
write.  Mister  Lennard  preeched 
about  loving  our  ennymies,  and  told 
every  one  if  he  had  any  angry  feel- 
ings towards  ennyone  to  go  to  him 
and  shake  hands  and  see  how  much 
better  you  wood  feel,  i  know  how  it 
is  becaus  when  me  and  Beany  are 
mad  we  dont  have  eny  fun  and  when 
we  make  up  the  one  who  is  to  blam 
always  wants  to  treet.  why  when 
Beany  was  mad  with  me  becaus  i 

[57] 


The  Real  Diary 

went  home  from  Gil  Steels  surprise 
party  with  Lizzie  Towle,  Ed  Towles 
sister,  he  woodent  speak  to  me  for  2 
days,  and  when  we  made  up  he 
treated  me  to  ice  cream  with  2  spoons 
and  he  let  me  dip  twice  to  his  once, 
he  took  pretty  big  dips  to  make  up. 
Beany  is  mad  if  enny  of  the  fellers 
go  with  Lizzie  Towle.  she  likes 
Beany  better  than  she  does  enny  of 
the  fellers  and  Beany  ought  to  be 
satisfied,  but  sometimes  he  acks  mad 
when  i  go  down  there  to  fite  roosters 
with  Ed.  i  gess  he  needent  worry 
much,  no  feller  isnt  going  to  leave 
of  fiting  roosters  to  go  with  no  girls, 
well  i  most  forgot  what  i  was  going 
to  say,  but  after  church  i  went  up  to 
Micky  Gould  who  was  going  to  fite 

[58} 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

me  behind  the  school  house,  and  said 
Micky  lets  be  friends  and  Micky  said, 
huh  old  Skinny,  i  can  lick  you  in  2 
minits  and  i  said  you  aint  man  enuf 
and  he  called  me  a  nockneed  puke, 
and  i  called  him  a  wall  eyed  lummix 
and  he  give  me  a  paist  in  the  eye  and 
i  gave  him  a  good  one  in  the  mouth, 
and  then  we  rassled  and  Micky  threw 
me  and  i  turned  him,  and  he  got 
hold  of  my  new  false  bosom  and  i 
got  hold  of  his  hair,  and  the  fellers 
all  hollered  hit  him  Micky,  paist  him 
Skinny,  and  Mister  Purington, 
Pewts  father  pulled  us  apart  and  i 
had  Mickys  paper  collar  and  necktie 
and  some  of  his  hair  and  he  had  my 
false  bosom  and  when  i  got  home 
father  made  me  go  to  bed  and  stay 

[59] 


The  Real  Diary 

there  all  the  afternoon  for  fiting,  but 
i  gess  he  dident  like  my  losing  my 
false  bosom,  ennyway  he  asked  me 
how  many  times  i  hit  Micky  and 
which  licked,  he  let  me  get  up  at 
supper  time,  next  time  i  try  to  love 
my  ennymy  i  am  a  going  to  lick  him 
first. 

Went  to  a  Sunday  school  concert 
in  the  evening.  Keene  and  Cele  sung 
now  i  lay  me  down  to  sleep,  they 
was  a  lot  of  people  sung  together 
and  Mister  Gale  beat  time.  Charlie 
Gerish  played  the  violin  and  Miss 
Packerd  sung,  i  was  scart  when 
Keene  and  Cele  sung  for  i  was  afraid 
they  would  break  down,  but  they 
dident,  and  people  said  they  sung 
like    night   horks.     i  gess  if  they 

[60] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

knowed  how  night  horks  sung  they 
woodent  say  much,  father  felt  pretty 
big  and  to  hear  him  talk  you  wood 
think  he  did  the  singing,  he  give 
them  ten  cents  apeace.  i  dident  get 
none,  you  gest  wait,  old  man  till  i 
get  my  cornet. 

Went  to  a  corcus  last  night,  me 
and  Beany  were  in  the  hall  in  the 
afternoon  helping  Bob  Carter 
sprinkle  the  floor  and  put  on  the 
sordust.  the  floor  was  all  shiny  with 
wax  and  aufully  slipery.  so  Bob  got 
us  to  put  on  some  water  to  take  off 
the  shiny  wax.  well  write  in  front 
of  the  platform  there  is  a  low  plat- 
form where  they  get  up  to  put  in 
their  votes  and  then  step  down  and 
Beany  said,  dont  put  any  water  there 

[61] 


The  Real  Diary 

only  jest  dry  sordust.  so  i  dident. 
well  that  night  we  went  erly  to  see 
the  fun.  Gim  Luverin  got  up  and 
said  there  was  one  man  which  was 
the  oldest  voter  in  town  and  he 
ought  to  vote  the  first,  the  name  of 
this  destinkuished  sitizen  was  John 
Quincy  Ann  Pollard,  then  old  mister 
Pollard  got  up  and  put  in  his  vote 
and  when  he  stepped  down  his  heels 
flew  up  and  he  went  down  whak  on 
the  back  of  his  head  and  2  men  lifted 
him  up  and  lugged  him  to  a  seat, 
and  then  Ed  Derborn,  him  that  rings 
the  town  bell,  stepped  up  pretty  live- 
ly and  went  flat  and  swore  terrible, 
and  me  and  Beany  nearly  died  we 
laffed  so.  well  it  kept  on,  people 
dident  know  what  made  them  fall, 
[62] 


j 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

and  Gim  Odlin  sat  write  down  in 
his  new  umbrella  and  then  they  sent 
me  down  stairs  for  a  pail  of  wet  sor- 
dust  and  when  i  was  coming  up  i 
heard  an  auful  whang,  and  when  i 
got  up  in  the  hall  they  were  lugging 
old  mister  Stickney  off  to  die  and 
they  put  water  on  his  head  and  lug- 
ged him  home  in  a  hack,  they  say 
Bob  Carter  will  lose  his  place,  me 
and  Beany  dont  know  what  to  do. 
if  we  dont  tell,  Bob  will  lose  his  place 
and  if  we  do  we  will  get  licked. 

Mar.  12.  Mister  Stickney  is  all 
write  today,  gosh  you  bet  me  and 
Beany  are  glad. 

Mar.  13,  186-  brite  and  fair.  Mr. 
Gravel  has  bought  old  Heads  carrige 
shop,    he  is  a  dandy  and  wears  shiny 

[63] 


The  Real  Diary 

riding  boots  and  a  stove  pipe  hat  and 
a  velvet  coat  and  goes  with  Dan 
Ranlet  and  George  Perkins  and 
Johny  Gibson  and  the  other  dandies, 
i  went  down  today  and  watched 
Fatty  Walker  stripe  some  wheels. 

Mar.  14.  clowdy.  Elkins  and 
Graves  had  an  oxion  to-night.  Beany 
got  ten  cents  for  going  round  town 
ringing  a  bell  and  hollering  oxion.  i 
went  with  Beany  and  it  was  lots  of 
fun.  Beany  wouldent  treet.  he  says 
he  is  saving  money  for  something,  i 
know  what  it  is  it  is  a  valintine  for 
Lizzie  Tole.  it  was  mean  of  Beany 
not  to  treet  becaus  i  did  as  much  hol- 
lering as  he  did. 

Mar.  15.  The  funniest  thing  hap- 
ened  to-day  you  ever  saw.  after  brek- 

[64] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

fast  me  and  father  took  a  walk  and 
then  went  and  set  down  on  the  high 
school  steps,  father  was  telling  me 
some  of  the  things  he  and  Gim  Mel- 
cher  used  to  do.  father  must  have 
been  a  ripper  when  he  was  young, 
well  ennyway  while  we  was  talking 
old  Ike  Shute  came  along  through 
the  school  yard.  Ike  wears  specks 
and  always  carries  a  little  basket  on 
his  arm.  he  cant  see  very  well,  and 
father  said  to  me,  now  you  jest  keep 
still  and  you  will  see  some  fun  and 
when  Ike  came  along  father  changed 
his  voice  so  that  it  sounded  awfully 
growly  and  said  where  in  the  devil 
are  you  going  with  that  basket,  and 
Ike  was  scart  most  to  deth  and  said 
only  a  little  way  down  here  sir  and 
[65  j 


The  Real  Diary 

father  said,  move  on  sir  and  move 
dam  lively  and  i  nearly  died  laffing 
to  see  Ike  hiper.  well  after  a  while  i 
see  Ike  coming  back  with  old  Swane 
and  old  Kize  the  policemen,  i  tell 
you  i  was  scart  but  father  only  laflfed 
and  said  you  keep  still  and  i  will  fix 
it  all  right,  so  when  they  came  up 
he  said  to  old  Kize  what  is  the 
trouble  Filander  and  he  said  Mr. 
Shute  here  has  been  thretened  by 
some  drunken  rascal,  and  father 
looked  aufuly  surprised  and  said  that 
is  an  infernal  shame,  when  did  it 
happen  Isak,  and  Ike  said  about  fif- 
teen minits  ago  and  father  said  we 
have  been  here  about  as  long  as  that 
and  i  dident  see  the  scoundrel,  how 
did  he  look  Isak,  and  Ike  said  i  cood- 

[66] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

ent  see  him  very  well  George  but  he 
was  a  big  man  and  he  had  a  awful 
deep  voice  and  father  said  did  he 
stagger  enny  and  Ike  said  i  coodent 
see  wether  he  did  or  not  but  i  cood 
tell  he  was  drunk  by  his  voice,  so 
old  Swain  and  old  Kize  went  down 
behind  the  school  house  and  off  thru 
the  carrige  shop  yard  to  see  if  they 
cood  find  him,  and  me  and  father 
walked  home  with  Ike  to  protect  him 
and  father  said  now  Isak  if  ennyone 
insults  you  again  jest  come  to  me 
and  if  i  can  catch  him  i  will  break 
every  bone  in  his  body,  and  father 
and  Ike  shook  hands  and  Ike  shook 
hands  with  me  and  then  we  went 
home  and  father  began  to  laff  and 
lafFed  all  the  way  home  and  then  he 
[67] 


The  Real  Diary 

told  mother  and  aunt  Sarah  and  they 
said  it  was  a  shame  to  play  such  a 
trick  upon  him  and  father  laffed  all 
the  more  and  said  Ike  hadent  had  so 
much  exercise  for  a  year  and  it  wood 
do  him  good  and  give  him  something 
to  think  about,  ennyway  they  said 
it  was  a  shame  to  teech  me  such 
things,  and  father  said  he  would 
rather  i  wood  be  tuf  than  be  like  Ike, 
and  Aunt  Sarah  said  i  never  wood 
be  half  as  good  as  Ike  for  he  never 
did  a  wrong  thing  in  his  life,  and 
father  laffed  and  said  he  dident  dass 
to  for  his  mother  wood  shet  him  in 
the  closet,  it  was  aufully  funny,  but 
i  gess  they  was  right,  i  shall  never 
be  half  as  good  as  Ike.   i  wonder  if 

[68] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

old  Swane  and  old  Kize  have  caught 
that  man  yet. 

Mar.  16.  Pewt  dreened  18  mar- 
bles and  2  chinees  out  of  me  to-day. 
we  was  playing  first  in  a  hole,  school 
today,  sailed  boats  in  the  brook  in 
J.  Albert  Clark's  garden  and  got 
pretty  wet. 

Mar.  17.  Scott  Briggam  has  got 
some  little  flying  squirrels,  he  is  go- 
ing to  get  me  one  for  thirty-five 
cents,  i  am  going  to  take  it  out  of 
my  cornet  money. 

Mar.  18.  Father  wont  let  me  play 
marbles  in  ernest.  it  aint  enny  fun 
dreening-  a  feller  and  then  giving 
them  back,  i  bet  father  didnt  when 
he  was  a  boy. 

[69] 


The  Real  Diary 

Mar.  19.  Scott  Briggam  brought 
my  squirrel  today  and  i  paid  him  35 
cents,  3  ten  cents  scrips  and  five 
cents,    i  have  got  it  in  a  bird  cage. 

Mar.  20.  my  squirrel  got  out  of 
the  cage  last  nite  and  father  found 
him  in  the  water  pail  drownded.  fa- 
ther got  up  in  the  night  and  got  a 
dipper  and  drank  some  water  out  of 
that  pail,  he  dident  eat  any  brekfast 
because  he  was  thinking  that  the 
squirrel  might  have  been  in  the  pail 
then,  i  wonder  if  it  was.  ennyway 
35  cents  of  my  cornet  money  has 
gone  up. 

Mar.    23.     school    today,     went 

down  to  Pewts  to  draw  pictures. 

Charlie    Woodbury  can    draw  the 

best,    then    Pewt,     and  then  me. 

C  70  3 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

Beany  dont  like  to  draw,  we  was 
talking  about  what  we  was  going  to 
be  when  we  grew  up.  Charlie  Wood- 
bury is  going  to  be  a  picture  painter, 
Pewt  is  going  to  be  a  lawyer,  Potter 
Gorham  and  Chick  Chickering  are 
going  to  stuff  birds  for  a  living, 
Beany  is  going  to  be  a  hack  driver, 
Gim  Wingit  is  going  to  run  a  news- 
paper, Cawcaw  Harding  is  going  to 
be  a  piscopal  minister  becaus  he  says 
they  only  have  to  read  their  speaches 
out  of  a  book,  Nipper  Brown  is  going 
to  be  a  professer,  Priscilla  Hobbs  is 
going  to  play  a  organ  in  the  baptis 
church.  Prisil  can  play  3  tunes  now 
on  a  little  organ,  i  am  going  to  be  a 
cornet  player  like  Bruce  Briggam. 
cornet  players  can  go  to  all  the  dan- 
[71] 


The  Real  Diary 

ces  and  fairs  and  prosessions  and  are 
invited  in  and  treated  when  people 
are  married  and  they  serrinade  them 
at  night,  and  they  don't  have  to 
work  either. 

Mar.  25.  almost  as  warm  as  sum- 
mer, went  to  church  and  Sunday 
school.  Beany  has  got  a  job  blowing 
the  organ  for  Kate  Wells,  he  only 
let  the  wind  go  out  2  times  today, 
it  was  funny  becaus  when  the  organ 
stopped  Mister  Wood  who  was  sing- 
ing let  out  an  auful  hoot  before  he 
knowed  what  he  was  doing  Beany 
will  lose  his  job  if  he  does  it  again. 

Mar.  29,  186-  The  toads  has  come 

out.  fine  warm  day.   me  and  Potter 

Gorham  have  been  ketching  toads 

this  afternoon,    they  sit  in  the  pud- 

C  72  3 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

les  and  peep,  folks  think  it  is  frogs 
but  most  of  it  is  toads.  Potter  got 
23  and  i  got  18.  tonite  i  put  my 
toads  in  a  box  in  the  kitchen  after 
the  folks  went  to  bed.  in  the  night 
they  all  got  out  of  the  box  and  be- 
gan to  hop  round  and  peep  mother 
heard  it  and  waked  father  and  they 
lissened.  when  i  waked  up  father 
was  coming  threw  my  room  with  a 
big  cane  and  a  little  tin  lamp,  he 
had  put  on  his  britches  and  was  in 
his  shirt  tale,  and  i  said,  what  are 
you  going  to  lick  me  for  now  i  hav- 
ent  done  nothing  and  he  said,  keep 
still  there  is  some  one  down  stairs 
and  mother  said  dont  go  down 
George  and  father  said,  lissen  i  can 
hear  him  giving  a  whistle  for  his  con- 
[78] 


The  Real  Diary 

fedrit,  i  will  jump  in  and  give  him  a 
whack  on  the  cokonut.  i  had  forgot 
all  about  the  toads  and  you  bet  i  was 
scart.  well  father  he  crep  down  easy 
and  blowed  out  his  lite  and  opened 
the  door  quick  and  jest  lammed 
round  with  his  club,  then  i  heard 
him  say  what  in  hell  have  i  stepped 
on,  bring  a  lite  here,  then  i  thought 
of  the  toads  and  you  bet  i  was  scarter 
than  before,  mother  went  down  with 
a  lite  and  then  i  heard  him  say,  i 
will  be  cussed  the  whole  place  is  full 
of  toads,  then  mother  said  did  you 
ever,  and  father  said  he  never  did, 
and  it  was  some  more  of  that  dam 
boys  works  and  he  yelled  upstairs  for 
me  to  come  down  and  ketch  them, 
so  i  went  down  and  caught  them  and 
[74  J 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

put  them  out  all  but  2  that  father 
had  stepped  on  and  they  had  to  be 
swep  up,  then  all  the  folks  came 
down  in  their  nitegounds  and  i  went 
up  stairs  lively  and  got  into  bed  and 
pulled  the  clothes  round  me  tite,  but 
it  dident  do  enny  good  for  father 
came  up  and  licked  me,  he  dident 
lick  me  very  hard  becaus  i  gess  he 
was  glad  it  wasent  a  berglar  and  if  it 
hadent  been  for  me  it  might  have 
been  berglars  insted  of  toads. 

Mar.  30.  brite  and  fair,  went  out 
with  Potter  Gorham.  saw  some 
toads  2  robins  and  a  blewbird.  gosh 
it  makes  a  feller  feel  good  to  see  birds 
and  toads  and  live  things. 

Mar.  31.  April  fool  day  tomor- 
row, i  am  laying  for  Beany,  old 
[75] 


The  Real  Diary 

Francis  licked  5  fellers  today  becaus 
they  sung  rong  when  we  was  singing 
speek  kindly  it  is  better  far  to  rule 
by  luv  than  feer. 

April  1.  auful  cold  and  rainy,  i 
was  going  to  wright  a  love  letter  to 
Beany  and  sine  Lizzie  Toles  name 
to  it  but  i  told  father  about  it  for  fun 
and  he  said  that  it  was  fourgery  and 
that  i  cood  be  prostecuted  and  sent 
to  jale.  so  i  dident.  tonite  me  and 
Beany  rung  five  door  bells  for  april 
fool. 

April  2.  been  trying  to  get  rid  of 
some  warts.  Pewt  says  if  you  hook 
a  piece  of  pork  after  dark,  rub  it  on 
the  warts  and  say  arum  erum  irum 
orum  urum  and  nurum  3  times  turn 
round  twice  and  throw  the  pork  thru 
[76] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

a  window,  then  the  warts  will  all  be 
gone  the  next  day.  me  and  Beany  is 
going  to  try  it  tomorrow. 

April  3.  brite  and  fair,  dident  get 
a  chance  to  hook  the  pork. 

April  4.  The  band  played  in  the 
band  room  to-nite.  it  was  warm 
enuf  to  have  the  windows  open  and 
we  cood  hear  it.  i  sat  out  in  the 
school  yard  til  10  oclock  to  hear  it 
and  father  came  out  and  walked  me 
home.  Beany  was  mad  becaus  i  cared 
more  for  the  band  than  for  getting 
rid  of  the  warts. 

April  6.  dident  wright  anything 
last  nite,  was  too  scart.  i  never  was 
so  scart  in  all  my  life  before,  me  and 
Beany  came  awful  near  getting  in 
jale.  we  dident  know  where  to  hook 
[77] 


The  Real  Diary 

the  pork,  i  went  to  our  cellar  but 
father  was  down  there  making  vini- 
gar  all  the  evening,  then  we  went  to 
Beanys  cellar  but  Mister  Watson 
was  sitting  on  the  cellar  door,  so 
Beany  told  his  father  that  a  man  was 
looking  for  him  to  see  about  a  horse 
and  Mister  Watson  started  down  to 
the  club  stable,  then  Beany  hooked 
the  pork  and  rubbed  it  over  his  warts 
and  then  i  rubbed  it  over  my  warts 
and  we  said  arum  erum  irum  orum 
urum  and  nurum  3  times  jest  as  Pewt 
said,  turned  round  twice  and  i  plug- 
ged the  pork  right  threw  a  gaslite  jest 
then  the  gasman  came  along,  he  yel- 
led at  us  and  jumped  out  of  his 
wagon  and  went  for  us.  we  ran  down 
threw  the  school  yard  as  fast  as  we 

[78] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

cood  hiper.  there  is  a  hollow  in  the 
corner  of  the  school  yard  by  Bill  Mor- 
rills  back  yard  and  there  is  a  little  hole 
in  the  bottom  of  the  fence  where  the 
fellers  crawl  threw  when  the  football 
goes  into  his  garden,  we  skinned 
threw  that  hole  jest  in  time,  the 
gasman  tried  to  crawl  threw  but  he 
coodent,  then  he  clim  the  high  fence 
but  while  he  was  doing  that  we  ran 
across  the  carrige  factory  yard  and 
down  by  the  old  brewery  up  Bow 
street  and  home,  i  went  to  bed 
pretty  lively  and  so  did  Beany,  gosh 
but  we  was  scart. 

April  7-    One  of  Beanys  warts  has 
gone. 

April  8.    brite  and  fair,    my  warts 
have  not  gone. 

C  79  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

April  9.  brite  and  fair,  my  warts 
have  not  gone. 

April  10.  Clowdy  but  no  rane. 
my  warts  have  not  gone. 

April  11.  rany.  i  have  got  2  more 
warts,  i  gess  i  hadent  ought  to  have 
broke  that  gaslite. 

April  12.   i  have  got  another. 

April  13.  bully  day.  me  and  Pot- 
ter Gorham  and  Chick  Chickering 
went  out  after  toads  today,  i  got  14 
but  i  dident  take  them  home  you 
bet. 

April  15.  Brite  and  fair,  we  all 
went  to  church  today  to  see  the 
Lanes,  they  come  from  New  York 
and  when  they  go  to  church  every- 
body goes  to  see  them,   there  was  a 

[80] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

boy  with  them  named  Willie,  i  bet 
i  cood  lick  him. 

April  16.  Nothing  particular  to- 
day, dont  feel  very  well,  kind  of 
headaky  and  backaky. 

April  20.  have  been  sick  for  4 
days,  went  to  school  monday  and 
had  to  come  home,  when  i  got  home 
i  fell  down  on  the  steps  and  mother 
and  aunt  Sarah  came  out  and  got  me 
in  the  house  and  put  water  on  my 
head  and  rubbed  my  hands,  and  then 
the  Docter  came  and  said,  well  Jo- 
anna, children  are  a  good  deel  of 
truble  and  then  he  felt  of  my  rist 
and  said  hum,  and  then  he  looked  at 
my  tung  and  said  hum  again,  and 
then  he  pride  open  my  mouth  and 

[81] 


The  Real  Diary 

looked  down  my  throte  and  said 
hum,  and  then  he  pulled  off  my  close 
and  looked  me  over  rite  before 
mother  and  aunt  Sarah  and  said  well 
he  aint  spekled  eny.  then  he  said 
what  have  you  given  him  Joanna 
and  mother  said,  nothing,  and  the 
docter  said,  all  right  give  him  some 
more,  and  mother  said  i  havent  giv- 
en him  enything  docter,  and  then  he 
walked  around  the  room  and  picked 
up  some  things  and  looked  at  them 
and  then  he  gave  me  some  of  the 
wirst  tasting  stuff  i  ever  took,  then 
he  said  i  gess  he  will  be  better  to- 
morrow, and  then  he  looked  at  some 
more  things  and  went  home,  i  did- 
ent  sleep  very  well  that  nite  but  was 
auful  hot  and  my  head  aked  fearful. 

[82] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

mother  was  in  my  room  every  time 
i  waked  up,  and  Sarah  too.  next  day 
i  had  the  docter  again  he  looked  at 
some  pictures  and  things  and  told 
mother  to  give  me  some  more,  i  al- 
ways feel  better  when  the  docter 
comes  in.  he  dont  scare  a  feller  to 
deth. 

Well  the  next  day  i  felt  a  little 
better  and  tried  to  sit  up  and  have 
my  britches  on,  but  i  had  to  lay 
down  again  my  head  aked  so,  and 
after  awhile  my  head  felt  better  and 
as  i  laid  there  i  could  look  out  of  the 
window  and  it  seamed  as  if  little 
chains  that  you  could  see  through 
like  glass,  were  floating  up  and  down, 
they  were  about  an  inch  long,  well 
i  wached  them  till  i  almost  went  to 

£83] 


The  Real  Diary 

sleep  and  jest  as  i  was  most  asleep  i 
heard  Beany  out  in  the  street  holler, 
say  Pewt,  did  you  know  that  Plupy 
is  going  to  die,  and  Pewt  said  course 
i  did,  why  dont  you  tell  me  some 
news,  and  Beany  said  i  heard  he 
swalowed  a  peech  stone  and  Pewt 
said  it  was  liver  complaint,  and  then 
i  heard  some  one  say,  you  boys  shet 
up. 

Gosh  you  bet  i  was  scart.  i  had- 
ent  thought  of  dying,  i  began  to 
howl  and  holler  for  mother,  she 
came  running  in  and  i  told  her  i  was 
going  to  die  and  i  told  her  about 
breaking  the  gaslite  and  a  lot  of 
other  things  and  she  told  me  the 
docter  said  i  was  getting  better  and  i 
wood  sit  up  tomorrow,   well  i  felt 

[64] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

better  then  and  wished  i  hadent  told 
mother  about  the  gaslite  becaus  i 
knew  she  wood  make  me  tell  father, 
well  mother  set  by  my  bed  all  the 
afternoon  and  read  me  some  out 
of  Billy  Bolegs,  jest  think  of  her 
doing  that,  so  when  supper  time 
came  i  et  a  lettle  tost  and  had  some 
current  jelly,  when  father  come 
home  mother  told  him  about  the 
gaslite  and  all  he  said  was  i  wood 
have  to  pay  for  it  out  of  my  cornet 
money,  i  thought  he  wood  keep  me 
in  for  a  month,  i  gess  mother  must 
have  talked  to  him. 

that  nite  father  slep  on  a  lounge 
in  my  room,  i  went  to  sleep  most  as 
soon  as  he  come  in.  after  awhile  i 
dremp  i  was  tied  on  a  sawlog  jest  go- 

[85] 


The  Real  Diary 

ing  nearer  and  nearer  to  the  saw  and 
the  saw  was  a  going  skratch-zoo, 
skratch-zoo,  skratch-zoo.  well  i  tride 
to  pull  away  but  i  coodent  move  and 
i  tride  to  holler  and  i  coodent  make 
a  yip,  and  jest  before  the  saw  sawed 
into  me  i  woke  up.  gosh  you  bet  i 
was  glad,  but  the  funny  part  was 
that  i  could  hear  the  saw  going 
skratch-zoo,  skratch-zoo,  skratch- 
zoo,  and  what  do  you  think  it  was. 
it  was  father  snoring,  gosh  you 
ought  to  have  heard  him.  well  at 
first  i  lafTed,  but  by  and  by  i  wanted 
to  go  to  sleep  and  father  snoring  so 
loud  i  coodent  till  mother  came  in 
and  told  him  to  go  to  bed  and  she 
laid  on  the  sofa  all  nite.  the  next 
day  i  set  up  and  had  my  britches  on 

[86] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

and  set  up  to  the  window  all  day.  i 
saw  Beany  and  Pewt  and  i  nocked 
on  the  window  and  waved  my  claw 
at  them,    i  am  going  out  tomorrow. 

April  22.  i  went  out  today,  it 
was  real  warm,  i  dident  go  to 
church  becaus  i  had  been  sick,  i  let 
my  rooster  out  to  fite  J.  Albert 
Clark's,  they  were  fiting  good  when 
i  looked  up  and  there  was  father 
looking  over  the  fence,  he  made  me 
stop  the  fite  and  shet  my  rooster  up. 
i  wonder  if  he  wood  have  stoped 
them  if  i  hadent  been  there,  i  got  2 
eggs  today,  the  old  brama  that  i 
swaped  for  with  Ed  Tole  and  a  bol- 
ten  gray  that  John  Adams  give  me. 

April  23.  i  went  to  school  today. 
i  dident  have  to  resite  becaus  i  had 
[87] 


The  Real  Diary 

been  sick,  if  i  dont  get  wirse  i  can 
go  to  Mis  Packerds  concert  tomorow. 
hope  it  wont  rane. 

April  24.  brite  and  fair  and  it  did- 
ent  rane  tonite,  so  i  went  to  the  con- 
cert, all  the  girls  was  flowers.  Keene 
was  a  crocuss  and  had  to  come  out 
and  sing  first  becaus  the  crocuss  is 
the  first  flower  that  comes  out.  she 
sung  i  am  the  first  of  all  the  flowers 
to  greet  the  eyes  of  spring. 

Jenny  Morison  was  a  tuch  me  not 
and  set  in  the  top  of  a  rock  and  sung 
tuch  me  not,  tuch  me  not  let  me 
alone.  Nell  Tole  was  a  piny  or  a  sun- 
flower i  have  forgot  whitch.  Jenny 
Morison  and  Keene  and  Nell  Tole 
are  the  best  singers  for  their  size  in 
town,    father  thinks  Keene  can  sing 

[88] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

the  best,  he  feels  pretty  big  about 
Keene.  i  told  him  so  one  day  and  he 
said  he  had  to  becaus  i  dident 
amount  to  enything.  i  think  Jenny 
Morison  can  sing  the  best  but  dont 
tell  him  so  for  he  wood  give  me  a 
bat. 

April  25,  186- Cant  go  down  town 
for  a  week  becaus  i  sassed  J.  Albert 
Clark,  that  is  J.  Albert  Clark  says  i 
sassed  him  but  i  dident.  Beany  had 
been  working  for  J.  Albert  raking  up 
leaves  in  his  garden.  J.  Albert  was 
a  going  to  give  him  10  cents  for  it 
and  me  and  Beany  was  a  going  to 
divide  up  on  goozeberries  and  juju 
paist,  but  Beany  dident  dass  to  ask 
J.  Albert  for  his  pay  because  he  had 
raked  all  the  leaves  under  J.  Alberts 

[88] 


The  Real  Diary 

front  steps  and  he  was  afraid  J.  Al- 
bert wood  find  out  about  it  and  not 
pay  him.  Beany  wanted  me  to  ask 
him  but  i  dident  dass  to  because  i  let 
my  rooster  out  to  fite  J.  Alberts  last 
Sunday  and  J.  Albert  dont  believe 
in  fiting  roosters,  last  night  he  was 
setting  on  his  steps  with  some  com- 
pany and  he  had  on  his  best  lavender 
britches  and  his  best  blew  coat. 

So  Beany  said,  tell  you  what  Plu- 
py,  you  set  on  your  steps  and  i  will 
set  on  my  steps  and  we  will  holler 
across  the  street  about  the  money 
that  J.  Albert  owes  me.  So  Beany 
he  went  across  the  street  to  his  steps 
and  he  hollered  over,  hi  there  Plupy 
have  you  got  any  chink,  and  i  hol- 
lered back,  no  Beany  i  havent  got  a 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

cent,  and  Beany  he  hollered  i  shood 
have  10  cents  if  J.  Albert  Clark 
wood  pay  me  what  he  owes  me,  and 
i  hollered  why  in  time  dont  he  pay 
you,  and  Beany  hollered  i  gess  he 
hasent  got  any  chink,  and  i  hollered 
he  has  probably  spent  all  his  chink 
in  buying  them  lavender  britches, 
and  Beany  he  hollered,  well  if  J. 
Albert  Clark  needs  the  money  more 
than  I  do  he  can  have  it.  well  while 
we  was  hollering  mister  Head  and 
•the  Head  girls  who  was  setting  on 
their  steps  got  up  and  went  into  the 
house  laffing,  and  the  company  at 
J.  Alberts  all  lafFed,  and  J.  Albert 
came  down  and  beckoned  to  Beany 
and  Beany  he  went  running  over  to 
get  his  10  cents  and  J.  Albert  he 

[91] 


The  Real  Diary 

said,  Elbridge,  that  is  Beanys  name, 
Elbridge  you  cood  have  your  money 
enny  time  if  you  had  asked  me  for  it 
decently,  but  now  i  shall  not  pay 
you  for  a  week  and  i  shall  not  imploy 
you  enny  more.  Tell  you  what, 
Beany  came  over  to  my  steps  feeling 
pretty  cheap  and  we  was  talking 
about  it  when  mother  called  me  in 
and  sent  me  up  stairs,  and  said  she 
wood  tell  father  as  soon  as  he  came 
home.  So  i  went  up  stairs  and 
looked  out  of  the  window  jest  in  time 
to  see  Beanys  father  lugging  Beany 
in  by  the  neck.  Well  that  nite  after 
father  got  home  he  jawed  me  and 
said  i  coodent  go  down  town  for  a 
week  and  made  me  go  to  J.  Alberts 
right  before  the  company  and  ask  his 

[9*3 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

forgiveness,  and  Beany  had  to  to.  J. 
Albert  was  a  pretty  good  fellow  and 
said  it  was  all  right,  and  dident  want 
our  fathers  not  to  let  us  go  down 
town,  but  father  said  i  must  learn  to 
be  respectable  to  my  elders.  Gosh 
we  dident  know  J.  Albert  was  a  el- 
der. We  knowed  elder  Stevens  and 
elder  Stewart  and  deacon  Gooch  and 
we  always  was  respectable  to  them, 
and  if  we  had  knowed  that  J.  Albert 
Clark  was  a  elder  we  woodent  have 
sassed  him  for  nothing. 

April  26.  Yesterday  and  day  be- 
fore it  was  brite  and  fair,  and  yester- 
day was  as  warm  as  summer,  today 
it  was  cold  and  it  snowed  a  little, 
jest  enuf  to  make  the  ground  look 
as  if  it  was  covered  with  salt,   the 


The  Real  Diary 

birds  looked  all  humped  up.  i  bet 
the  frogs  hind  legs  is  about  froze,  it 
is  raining  now.  if  i  was  a  frog  i 
woodent  come  out  of  the  mud  until 
summer,  perhaps  they  cant  stay  un- 
der more  than  six  months. 

April  27.  Warm  again.  2  eggs 
today,  i  have  got  another  hen. 
Willyam  Perry  Molton  gave  it  to 
me.  it  is  a  leghorn  and  his  other 
hens  licked  it  and  made  its  comb 
bludy  and  so  he  gave  it  to  me.  it  was 
on  the  nest  today  but  did  not  lay.  i 
went  to  church.  Mr.  Cram  preech- 
ed.  he  talked  all  about  birds  and 
flowers  and  i  liked  it. 

April  28.  brite  and  fair,  all  3  hens 
were  on  the  nest  but  dident  lay. 

April  29.  no  eggs  today,   mother 

[94] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

said  the  hens  cackled  all  the  morn- 
ing,  brite  and  fair. 

April  30.  i  dont  see  what  the 
mater  is  with  my  hens,  i  havent  got 
1  egg  this  week,  father  said  there 
was  a  rat  in  the  koop.  i  got  a  steel 
trap  of  Sam  Diar  and  tonite  i  set  it 
in  the  koop.  i  put  a  peace  of  cheeze 
on  it.  tomorrow  morning  i  ges  mi* 
ter  rat  wont  steal  any  more  eggs. 

May  1.  what  do  you  think,  this 
morning  i  got  up  to  get  my  rat  and 
i  found  that  my  best  hen,  the  bolton 
gray  that  John  Adams  gave  me  had 
tried  to  pick  the  cheeze  out  of  the 
trap  and  the  trap  had  caught  her  by 
the  neck  and  killed  her.  i  felt  most 
bad  enuf  to  cry.  i  thought  i  cood 
get  up  before  the  hen  did.   i  went  to 

[95] 


The  Real  Diary 

the  may  brekfast  today,  it  was  may- 
fair  day  and  they  had  a  brekfast. 
me  and  Pewt,  Beany,  Whacker  and 
Pozzy  Chadwick,  Micky  Gould,  Pop 
Clark,  Prisilla  Hobbs,  Chick  Chick- 
ering,  Potter  Gorham,  Pile  Wood, 
Curly  Conner  and  all  the  fellers  were 
there,  we  had  a  good  time  and  et 
till  just  before  school  time  and  we 
had  to  hiper  so  as  not  to  be  late. 

May  2.  no  eggs  today,  both  hens 
went  on  the  nest,  i  am  going  to  lay 
for  that  rat  with  my  bowgun. 

May  3.  what  do  you  think,  this 
noon  i  set  in  the  hen  koop  1  hour, 
the  brama  went  on  the  nest  and  set 
a  while  and  came  off  and  cakled, 
then  i  looked  and  she  had  lade  an 
egg.  i  left  the  egg  there  and  hid  be- 
[96  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

hind  a  barrel  and  got  my  bowgun 
ready  for  the  rat.  well  the  leghorn 
hen  went  on  the  nest  and  i  suposed 
she  was  a  going  to  lay,  but  she  broke 
rite  into  that  egg  and  began  to  gob- 
ble it  up.  i  was  so  mad  that  i  let 
ding  at  her  with  the  bowgun  and 
just  then  she  stuck  up  her  head  and 
the  arrow  took  her  rite  in  the  back 
of  the  head,  well  i  wish  you  cood 
have  seen  her.  she  hollered  one  little 
pip  and  then  went  rite  out  of  the 
nest  backwards  and  flapped  round 
awful,  i  picked  her  up  and  she  was 
dead,  i  dident  mean  to  kill  her,  i 
only  wanted  to  make  her  jump  and 
learn  her  not  to  eat  eggs.  O  dear,  i 
dont  know  what  father  will  say  when 
he  finds  it  out. 

[97] 


The  Real  Diary 

May  5,  186-  Saw  a  bully  fite  to- 
day. Cris  Staples  and  Charlie  Clark. 
Charlie  is  visiting  his  uncle  J.  Albert 
Clark,  the  feller  that  we  sassed.  that 
is  he  said  we  did  but  we  dident. 
Charlie  is  a  city  feller,  he  lives  in 
Chelsy  and  think  he  knows  a  pile 
about  things  and  gets  mad  if  we  call 
him  names,  now  every  feller  who 
amounts  to  anything  has  a  nick- 
name, and  some  of  them  have  2  or 
3.  my  nicknames  are  Plupy  and 
Skinny  and  Polelegs,  and  Beany  is 
called  Bullethead  and  sometimes 
Fatty,  i  told  Charlie  that  if  i  called 
him  Charlie  the  fellers  would  call 
him  sissy  or  Mary  and  he  better 
agree  to  let  me  call  him  bulldog  or 
tomcat  or  diddly  or  gobbler  or  some 

[98] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

nickname  whitch  wood  mean  some- 
thing, but  he  said  he  would  lam  the 
head  off  of  enny  feller  which  called 
him  names. 

well  you  jest  see  what  trouble  he 
got  into  for  not  having  a  nickname, 
he  would  have  knowed  better  than 
that  if  he  hadent  lived  in  Chelsy. 

Well  today  me  and  Charlie  was 
setting  on  his  steps.  Beany  was  mad 
because  i  was  going  with  Charlie  and 
he  had  gone  riding  with  his  father 
and  he  felt  pretty  big  because  his 
father  let  him  drive,  well  while  we 
were  setting  there  along  came  Cris 
Staples  who  carries  papers  for  Lane 
and  Rollins  store,  and  Cris  hollered 
over,  hullo  Polelegs.  Charlie  hadent 
heard  enyone  call  me  Polelegs.   and 

[99] 


The  Real  Diary 

i  said,  i  woodent  stand  that  if  i  was 
you  Charlie,  now  less  see  you  lam 
the  head  off  of  him,  and  Charlie 
he  started  across  the  road  and  walk- 
ed up  to  Cris  and  said  who  in  time 
are  you  calling  Polelegs  and  Cris 
wasent  going  to  back  down  and  said, 
you,  and  Charlie  said  jest  drop  them 
papers  and  i  will  nock  your  face  rite 
off,  and  Cris  dropped  his  papers  and 
they  went  at  it.  it  was  the  best  fite 
i  have  seen  this  year,  they  fit  from 
Mr.  Head's  down  to  Gim  Ellisons 
corner,  and  Cris  licked  time  out  of 
Charlie,  and  Charlie  began  to  yell 
and  give  up  and  then  Cris  let  go  of 
his  hair  and  told  him  he  was  to 
smart,  and  that  it  was  me  he  was 
calling  Polelegs  and  not  him,  and  he 

[  ioo] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

better  not  be  so  smart  another  time, 
and  Cris  he  picked  up  his  papers  and 
went  off  with  a  great  slit  in  his  jac- 
ket and  his  necktie  way  round  on 
one  side,  and  Charlie  came  home 
howling  and  Aunt  Clark,  Charlie's 
grandmother  came  out  and  said,  that 
is  what  you  get  Charlie  for  quareling. 
see  how  much  better  Harry  feels,  and 
i  said,  yes  mam.  Charlie  is  never  go- 
ing to  speak  to  me  again. 

May  7.  Beany  was  pretty  mad 
when  I  told  him  about  the  fite  be- 
cause he  dident  see  it.  i  gess  he  will 
find  it  don't  pay  to  get  mad  with 
me.  i  saw  Charlie  today  but  he  did- 
ent speak,  he  has  got  a  black  eye. 
Cris  has  got  a  funny  looking  nose  on 
one  side* 


The  Real  Diary 

May  8.  Chitter  Robinson  went  in 
swiming  today,    i  bet  it  was  cold. 

May  9.  Went  down  to  the  high 
school  yard  tonite  to  hear  the  band 
play,  they  have  got  a  new  leader  a 
Mister  Ashman  of  Boston,  he  can 
play  the  cornet  with  1  hand,  i  went 
down  today  to  pay  the  gasman  for 
the  gaslite  i  broke,  it  cost  1  dollar 
and  i  have  only  got  87  cents  for  my 
cornet,  sometimes  i  dont  believe  i 
shall  ever  get  that  cornet.  Scott 
Brigam  can  blow  a  bugle,  a  bugle 
is  like  a  cornet  only  a  cornet  has  3 
keys  and  a  bugle  is  all  covered  with 
flappers  and  curly  things  where  you 
put  your  Angers.  Rashe  Belnap  can 
play  a  cornet  splendid  but  he  dont 
play  very  often.  Frank  Hirvey  plays 
£  102] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

one  that  goes  over  his  shoulder  way 
behind  his  back,  gosh  i  wish  i  cood 
get  a  cornet. 

May  10.  father  has  found  out 
about  my  killing  that  hen.  he  did- 
ent  get  mad  but  said  i  ought  to  have 
cut  her  head  off  and  she  wood  be 
good  to  eat,  but  i  supose  it  is  to  late 
now  for  it  is  almost  a  week  ago  and 
i  burried  her  the  next  day. 

May  11.  me  and  Potter  Gorham 
went  mayflowering  today,  i  got  a 
bunch  and  sold  them  to  a  student 
named  Chizzum  for  35  cents,  i  put 
it  with  my  cornet  money,  i  have 
now  got  $1.22.  i  can  get  a  cornet 
for  25  dollars  a  second  hand. one.  i 
am  afraid  i  shall  never  get  that  cor- 
net 


The  Real  Diary 

May  12.  Rany  last  nite  and  this 
morning,  in  the  afternoon  it  cleared 
up.  gosh  i  wish  you  cood  see  the 
licking  Beany  got  tonite.  me  and 
Beany  went  out  to  go  up  to  see 
Pewt  and  make  some  sweet  fern  si- 
gars.  Beany  came  over  for  me  and 
went  up  to  Pewts.  on  the  way  Bea- 
ny went  up  an  rung  his  doorbell  and 
we  hid  behind  the  fence  and  Mister 
Watson,  Beany's  father,  came  out 
holding  a  light  and  shading  it  with 
his  hand,  the  wind  blew  the  lite  out 
and  in  going  in  again  he  hit  his  head 
an  awful  bump  against  the  door,  me 
and  Beany  nearly  died  laffing  only 
we  tride  not  to  lafT  too  loud,  well 
we  went  up  to  Pewts  and  Pewt  had 
been  sent  to  bed  for  something  and 

El0*;) 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

so  we  started  back  and  met  a  man 
who  said  is  this  you  Elbridge,  it  was 
pretty  dark  and  Beany  said  yes  and 
Mister  Watson  grabbed  us  both  by 
the  collar  and  said,  so  you  are  the 
boys  who  rung  my  doorbell  and  then 
he  give  Beany  a  rap  on  the  side  of 
the  head  and  began  to  shake  him 
round  lively  and  while  he  was  shak- 
ing Beany  up  i  put  for  home,  i  hid 
behind  the  fence  and  i  cood  hear  him 
say  i  will  learn  you  to  asosiate  with 
that  misable  Shute  boy  and  wast 
your  time  ringing  doorbells,  and  Bea- 
ny was  saying,  o  father  i  will  never 
do  it  again,  i  nearly  died  laffing  to 
hear  Beany  a  rattling  round  on  the 
sidewalk,  i  hope  Mister  Watson 
wont  tell  father,   i  gess  he  wont  for 

1 105  3 


The  Real  Diary 

he  gets  over  his  mad  pretty  quick, 
every  time  i  think  of  Beanys  legs  fly- 
ing round  in  the  air  i  giggle  rite  out 
and  when  i  think  of  Mister  Watson 
bumping  his  head  i  nearly  die.  some- 
times i  think  it  pays  to  be  tuff. 

May  13,  186-  Keene  and  Cele  have 
got  some  new  crokay  slippers,  you 
bet  they  feel  pretty  big  about  it. 

May  14.  nothing  particular  to- 
day. 

May  15.  Went  in  swimming  to- 
day, the  water  was  pretty  cold  but 
i  swum  acros  the  river  twise. 

May  16.  the  suckers  have  come. 
Potter  Gorham  caught  three  yester- 
day, me  and  Potter  was  going  yes- 
terday after  school  but  father  wood- 
[  106  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

ent  let  me  becaus  i  dident  split  my 
kindlings. 

May  17.  the  band  played  tonight, 
father  made  me  go  to  bed  at  nine 
but  i  cood  hear  it  becaus  my  window 
is  jest  acros  the  road,  they  are  play- 
ing a  new  peace,  it  is  the  woodup 
quickstep,  they  say  Ned  Kendall 
cood  play  it  on  a  bugle  better  than 
ennybody.  old  Robinson  cood  and 
Mister  Ashman  can  play  it  splendid, 
it  goes 

ta-ta  tata,  ta-ta  tata,  ta-ta  tata 

tatatatatatata. 

ta-te-ta-te-tiddle  iddle-a 

ta-te-ta-te-tiddle  iddle-a 

ta-te-ta-te-tiddle-iddle-a 

tiddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-ata 
[107] 


The  Real  Diary 

it  is  the  best  peace  they  play  except 
departed  days,  that  always  makes 
me  feel  like  crying  it  is  kinder  sad 
like,  i  hope  i  can  get  my  cornet 
some  day. 

May  19.  had  a  auful  toothake  to- 
day and  had  to  go  down  to  docter 
Pitman  and  he  pulled  it  out.  i  tell 
you  it  hurt.  Docter  Pitman  said 
the  roots  must  have  reached  way  to 
the  back  of  my  neck.  Beany  went 
with  me  and  then  told  all  round  that 
i  hollered,    you  jest  wait  Beany. 

May  21.  erly  this  afternoon  me 
and  Fatty  Melcher  got  some  real  se- 
gars  at  Henry  Simsons  store  and 
went  down  behind  old  man  Chur- 
chills  store  and  smoked  them,  we 
were  both  auful  sick  and  laid  there 

[106] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

all  the  afternoon,  when  i  went  home 
i  walked  wobbly  and  mother  asked 
me  if  i  was  sick  and  she  put  me  to 
bed  and  was  going  to  send  for  the 
docter,  but  father  came  in  and  when 
he  found  out  what  aled  me  he  laffed 
and  said  it  served  me  rite,  then  after 
supper  he  set  out  on  the  steps  rite 
under  my  window  and  smoked  a  old 
pipe  and  i  cood  smell  it  and  i  thought 
i  shood  die.  then  mother  asked  him 
to  go  away  and  he  laffed  and  said  all 
rite,  but  he  gessed  i  had  enuf  for  one 
day  and  she  said  she  gessed  so  and  i 
gess  so  too.  he  said  if  it  hadent  made 
me  sick  he  wood  have  licked  me. 

i  dont  see  why  it  is  so,   father 
swears  sometimes  when  he  hits  his 
thum  with  a  hammer  and  once  when 
[  109  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

he  was  in  the  dark  he  was  walking 
towards  the  door  with  his  arms  out 
to  feel  for  the  door,  one  arm  went  on 
one  side  of  the  door  and  the  other 
arm  on  the  other  side  and  he  hit  his 
nose  a  fearful  bump  rite  on  the  ege 
of  the  door,  and  i  wish  you  cood  have 
heard  him  swear,  well  if  i  swear  he 
licks  me,  and  he  smokes  and  if  i  do 
he  says  he  will  lick  me  and  he  dont 
go  to  church  and  if  i  dont  go  he  says 
he  will  lick  me.  O  dear  i  gess  i  wont 
smoke  enny  more. 

May  22.  Went  in  swimming  to- 
day twise,  once  down  to  the  raceway 
and  once  up  to  the  gravel. 

May  23.  Went  butterflying  with 
Chick  Chickering  today,  it  is  a  little 
early  for  them,  but  we  got  two  blew 

i  mi 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

and  black  ones  and  three  little  red 
ones.  Me  and  Chick  are  making 
aquariams.  Chick  has  got  a  splendid 
glass  one.  i  made  mine  out  of  a  but- 
ter firkin,  i  sawed  it  off  half  way  and 
then  washed  it  out  with  soft  soap 
and  rensed  it  2  or  3  times  and  then  i 
put  in  some  white  sand  and  stones 
and  i  have  got  some  little  minnies 
and  kivies  and  a  little  pickerel,  it 
looks  splendid  and  i  change  the 
water  every  3  days. 

May  24.     Nothing  particular  to- 
day. 

May  25.  i  can  swim  under  water 
from  the  big  tree  on  Moulton's  side 
of  the  river  at  the  gravel  to  the  tree 
on  the  bank  on  Gilman's  side,  i 
went  in  3  times  today, 
[in  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

May  26.  My  rooster  is  sick,  i  gess 
he  has  et  something,  he  sits  all 
humped  up.  i  went  in  swimming  2 
times  today. 

May  27.  My  rooster  is  pretty  sick, 
i  tride  to  give  him  some  kiann  pep- 
per tonite.  father  said  kiann  pepper 
was  good  for  sick  hens,  so  i  held  his 
mouth  open  and  give  him  a  spoonful, 
when  i  let  him  go  he  kept  his  mouth 
open  and  sorter  sneezed  pip -craw 
pip-craw  pip-craw,  and  then  he  went 
to  the  water  dish  and  began  to  drink, 
i  think  he  is  better  because  he  had- 
ent  drank  any  water  for  2  days  be- 
fore, he  was  still  drinking  when  i 
went  away,  i  gess  he  will  be  a  lot 
better  tomorrow. 

May  28.   What  do  you  think,  this 

[112] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

morning  when  i  went  out  to  feed 
my  hens  i  found  my  rooster  dead, 
he  had  drank  up  all  the  water  and  he 
was  all  puffed  up.  i  felt  pretty  bad. 
father  says  i  gave  him  enuf  kiann 
pepper  for  a  horse,  he  aught  to  have 
told  me.  he  was  a  pretty  good  roos- 
ter too.  i  am  having  pretty  tuff 
luck. 

May  29.  i  read  over  my  diary  to- 
day, i  have  forgot  to  tell  whether  it 
was  brite  and  fair  or  rany,  i  cant  say 
now. 

May  30,  186- Nothing  particular 
today,   brite  and  fair. 

May  31.  brite  and  fair,  went  up 
to  Whacker  Chadwicks  today  after 
school  to  help  him  plant  his  garden, 
we  had  about  a  bushel  of  potatoes  to 

C"3] 


The  Real  Diary 

plant  and  it  was  fun  to  sit  round  a 
basket  and  cut  up  the  potatoes,  af- 
ter a  while  Gim  Erly  and  Luke  Man- 
nux  cume  along  and  we  began  to 
plug  potatoes  at  them,  they  plugged 
them  back  and  we  had  a  splendid 
fite,  me  and  Whack  and  Pozzy  and 
Boog  Chadwick  on  one  side  and  Gim 
Erly  and  Luke  Mannux  and  Bob 
Ridly  on  the  other.  Luke  Mannux 
hit  me  twice  rite  in  the  back  of  the 
head,  i  am  going  up  tomorrow  to 
help  them  some  more,  went  in  swim- 
ming once  to-day. 

May  32  no  i  mean  June  1.  i  went 
up  to  Chadwicks  after  school.  Cap- 
tin  Chadwick  was  there  and  they 
wasent  enny  pluggin  potatoes,  went 
in  swimming. 

[114] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

June  2.  Rany.  Beany  is  mad  with 
me.   i  dont  care. 

June  3.    went  to  church  today. 

June  4.  clowdy  but  no  rane.  went 
up  to  Chadwicks  today  and  sawed 
wood.  Boog  and  Pozzy  fit  while  me 
and  Whack  sawed  wood  then  we 
went  in  swiming  down  to  Sandy 
Bottom,  some  body  tide  some  hard 
gnots  in  my  shirt,  i  forgot  to  split 
my  kindlings  tonite. 

June  5.  brite  and  fair.  Beany  is 
still  mad. 

June  6.  brite  and  fair,  i  know 
what  Beany  is  mad  about,  he  thinks 
i  told  about  his  getting  a  licking,  i 
dident  tell,  he  can  stay  mad  if  he 
wants  to. 

June  7.    father  has  bought  a  horse 

C  ns  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

of  Dan  Randlet.  i  rode  up  to  Brent- 
wood with  Sam  Diar  to  get  it.  it  is 
the  prettiest  horse  i  ever  saw.  i  rode 
it  down  from  Brentwood  and  it  goes 
jest  as  easy  as  sitting  on  a  spring 
board,  when  i  got  home  Beany  got 
over  his  mad  and  came  over  and  i 
gave  him  a  ride,  me  and  Beany 
never  were  mad  so  long  before. 

June  9.  Rany.  this  afternoon  me 
and  Beany  and  father  went  to  ride 
with  the  new  horse,  her  name  is 
Nellie. 

June  10.  brite  and  fair,  we  keep 
Nellie  down  to  Jo  Hanes  stable. 
Frank  Hanes  is  learning  me  how  to 
clean  her  off!  she  nipped  my  arm  to- 
day and  made  a  black  and  blew  spot, 
went  in  swimming  today. 

[116] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

i  have  to  get  up  every  morning 
and  harnes  Nelly  and  drive  father  to 
the  depot,  i  like  it  because  i  always 
race  with  the  men  coming  down 
front  street,  there  is  George  Dergin 
and  Fred  Sellivan  and  Gim  Wingit 
and  i  can  beat  them  all.  i  dont  tell 
father  that  i  race,  i  rode  Nellie  this 
afternoon  with  Frank  Hanes  and  Ed 
Tole.  i  dident  go  in  swimming  to- 
day. 

June  11.  brite  and  fair.  Nellie 
kicked  me  today,  i  gess  i  scrached 
her  today  to  hard  with  the  cury- 
comb.  it  dident  hurt  me  much,  i 
went  in  swimming  twise. 

June  12.  brite  and  fair.  Me  and 
Chick  Chickering  went  bullfroging 
today,  we  got  3  dozen  hind  legs  and 
£  117] 


The  Real  Diary 

sold  them  to  Mr.  Hirvey  for  30  cents 
and  took  our  pay  in  icecream. 

June  13.  Rode  Nellie  this  noon,  i 
have  to  go  to  the  half  past  five  train 
every  nite  for  father,  i  like  to  drive 
but  i  dont  like  to  go  every  nite. 

June  14.  Rashe  Belnap  and  Hor- 
ris  Cobbs  go  in  swimming  every 
morning  at  six  o'clock,  i  got  a  lick- 
ing today  that  beat  the  one  Beany 
got.  last  summer  me  and  Tomtit 
Tomson  and  Cawcaw  Harding  and 
Whack  and  Poz  and  Boog  Chadwick 
went  in  swimming  in  May  and  all 
thru  the  summer  until  October,  one 
day  i  went  in  10  times,  well  i  dident 
say  anything  about  it  to  father  so  as 
not  to  scare  him.  well  today  he  did- 
ent go  to  Boston  and  he  said  i  am 

[118] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

going  to  teech  you  to  swim,  when  i 
was  as  old  as  you  i  cood  swim  said  he, 
and  you  must  lern,  i  said  i  have  been 
wanting  to  lern  to  swim,  for  all  the 
other  boys  can  swim,  so  we  went 
down  to  the  gravil  and  i  peeled  off 
my  close  and  got  ready,  now  said  he, 
you  jest  wade  in  up  to  your  waste  and 
squat  down  and  duck  your  head  un- 
der, i  said  the  water  will  get  in  my 
nose,  he  said  no  it  wont  jest  squat 
rite  down,  i  cood  see  him  laffin  when 
he  thought  i  wood  snort  and  sputter, 
so  i  waded  out  a  little  ways  and 
then  div  in  and  swam  under  water 
most  across,  and  when  i  came  up  i 
looked  to  see  if  father  was  supprised. 
gosh  you  aught  to  have  seen  him. 
he  had  pulled  oft'  his  coat  and  vest 

£119  3 


The  Real  Diary 

and  there  he  stood  up  to  his  waste 
in  the  water  with  his  eyes  jest  bug- 
ging rite  out  as  big  as  hens  eggs,  and 
he  was  jest  a  going  to  dive  for  my 
dead  body,  then  i  turned  over  on 
my  back  and  waved  my  hand  at  him. 
he  dident  say  anything  for  a  minute, 
only  he  drawed  in  a  long  breth.  then 
he  began  to  look  foolish,  and  then 
mad,  and  then  he  turned  and  started 
to  slosh  back  to  the  bank  where  he 
slipped  and  went  in  all  over.  When 
he  got  to  the  bank  he  was  pretty 
mad  and  yelled  for  me  to  come  out. 
when  i  came  out  he  cut  a  stick  and 
whaled  me,  and  as  soon  as  i  got  home 
he  sent  me  to  bed  for  lying,  but  i 
gess  he  was  mad  becaus  i  about  scart 
the  life  out  of  him.    but  that  nite  i 

[120] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

heard  him  telling  mother  about  it 
and  he  said  that  he  div  3  times  for 
me  in  about  thirty  feet  of  water,  but 
he  braged  about  my  swiming  and 
said  i  cood  swim  like  a  striped  frog. 
i  shall  never  forget  how  his  boots 
went  kerslosh  kerslosh  kerslosh  when 
we  were  skinning  home  thru  cros- 
lots.  i  shall  never  forget  how  that 
old  stick  hurt  either,  ennyhow  he 
dident  say  ennything  about  not  go- 
ing in  again,  so  i  gess  i  am  all  rite. 

June  15,  186-  Johnny  Heeld,  a 
student,  came  to  me  and  wanted  me 
to  carry  some  tickets  to  a  dance 
round  to  the  girls  in  the  town,  there 
was  about  1  hundred  of  them,  he  read 
the  names  over  to  me  and  i  said  i 
knew  them  all.   so  after  school  me 

[  121  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

and  Beany  started  out  and  walked 
all  over  town  and  give  out  the  tick- 
ets, i  had  a  long  string  of  names 
and  every  time  i  wood  leave  one  i 
wood  mark  out  the  name,  i  dident 
give  the  Head  girls  any  because  they 
told  father  about  some  things  that 
me  and  Beany  and  Pewt  did  and  the 
Parmer  girls  and  the  Cilley  girls  liv- 
ed way  up  on  the  plains  and  i  dident 
want  to  walk  up  there,  so  when  i 
went  over  to  Hemlock  side  to  give 
one,  i  went  over  to  the  factory  board- 
ing house  and  give  some  to  them, 
they  was  auful  glad  to  get  them  too 
and  said  they  would  go  to  the  dance, 
some  people  was  not  at  home  and  so 
i  gave  their  tickets  to  the  next  house, 
it  took  me  till  8  o'clock  and  i  got  1 
C  122] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

dollar  for  it.  i  dont  beleive  those 
girls  that  dident  get  their  tickets 
will  care  much  about  going  ennyway. 
i  gess  the  Head  girls  wont  want  to 
tell  on  me  another  time. 

June  16.  Dennis  Cokely  and 
Tomtit  Tomson  had  a  fite  behind 
Hirvey's  resterent  today.  Hirvey 
stopped  them  jest  as  they  were  hav- 
ing a  good  one.  Thats  jest  the  way. 
i  dont  see  why  they  always  want  to 
stop  a  fite.  All  fellers  fite  for  is  to 
see  which  can  lick,  and  how  can  they 
tell  unless  they  fite  it  out. 

June  17.  Brite  and  fair.  They  is 
going  to  be  a  big  cattle  show  here 
this  fall.  They  are  going  to  have  it 
in  a  field  up  by  the  depot.  They  are 
going  to  have  horse  trots  and  shows 

[123] 


The  Real  Diary 

and  everything.  We  are  going  to 
have  no  school,  it  dont  come  for  an 
auful  while  yet.  Charles  Taylor  is 
going  to  have  Nelly  to  ride. 

June  18.  Me  and  Mickey  Gould 
had  a  race  horseback,  he  had  one  of 
Ben  Merril's  little  black  horses,  we 
raced  way  round  Kensington  ring,  i 
cood  beat  trotting  and  he  cood  beat 
running,  when  i  got  home  Nelly 
was  so  swetty  that  father  told  me 
not  to  ride  her  for  a  week. 

June  19.  Went  up  to  Chadwicks 
after  school.  Boog  and  Whack  got 
Willie  fiting  with  Johnny  Rogers. 
Willie  licked  him.  Willie  is  Whack's 
h'ttle  brother,  he  is  a  auful  cunning 
little  feller,  he  can  fite  too.  all  the 
Chadwick's  can  fite. 
[  124J 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

June  20.  Brite  and  fair,  i  am  go- 
ing fishing  tonite  with  Potter  Gor- 
ham. 

June  21.  brite  and  fair,  went 
fishing  today  with  Potter  Gorham. 
i  cought  5  pirch  and  4  pickeril.  i 
cleaned  them  and  we  had  them  for 
supper,  father  said  they  was  the  best 
fish  he  ever  et.  i  also  cought  the 
biggest  roach  i  ever  saw,  almost  as 
big  as  a  sucker,  and  i  cant  tell  what 
i  did  with  him.  i  thought  Potter 
had  hooked  him  for  fun,  but  he  said 
he  dident,  and  we  hunted  every- 
where for  him.  i  dont  know  where  i 
put  that  roach. 

June  22.  the  students  had  their 
dance  last  nite.  they  had  a  auful 
time,  some  of  the  girls  which  dident 
C  125] 


The  Real  Diary 

get  no  tickets  was  mad,  and  the 
students  which  wanted  them  to  go 
was  mad  and  they  went  to  Johnny 
Heeld  and  give  him  time,  then  he 
went  round  and  told  them  how  it 
was  and  give  them  tickets,  well  the 
nite  of  the  dance  everything  was  all 
rite  until  lots  of  people  came  which 
hadent  been  on  the  list,  but  which 
we  had  given  tickets,  well  the  stu- 
dents dident  want  to  let  them  in  and 
they  were  mad,  and  Chick  Randal 
hit  a  student  named  Pendry  rite  in 
the  nose  and  nocked  his  glasses  off 
and  Nichols  nocked  Johnny  Lord 
way  acros  the  entry  and  they  was 
going  to  have  a  big  fite  when  Bob 
Carter  and  2  or  3  men  stoped  it.  to- 
day Johnny  Heeld  came  down  to 

[  126] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

the  house  and  said  i  had  got  things 
all  mixed  up  and  father  made  me 
give  back  the  dollar,  but  he  told 
Johnny  Heeld  he  hadent  ought  to 
have  let  me  try  such  a  hard  job. 
Gosh,  i  am  glad  father  thinks  it  was 
a  mistake,  and  dont  know  that  i  did 
it  on  purpose. 

June  23.  there  is  a  dead  rat  in  the 
wall  in  my  room,    it  smells  auful. 

June  24.  Rany.  most  time  for 
vacation,  the  smell  in  my  room  is 
fearful. 

June  25.  more  trouble  today,  it 
seems  as  if  there  wasent  any  use  in 
living,  nothing  but  trouble  all  the 
time,  mother  said  i  coodent  sleep  in 
that  room  until  the  rat  was  taken 
out.    well  father  he  came  into  my 

[127] 


The  Real  Diary 

room  and  sniffed  once  and  said, 
whew,  what  a  almity  smell,  then 
he  held  his  nose  and  went  out  and 
came  back  with  mister  Staples  the 
father  of  the  feller  that  called  me 
Polelegs.  well  he  came  in  and  put 
his  nose  up  to  the  wall  and  sniffed 
round  until  he  came  to  where  my 
old  close  hung,  then  he  said,  thun- 
der George,  this  is  the  place,  rite  be- 
hind this  jacket,  it  is  the  wirst  smell 
i  ever  smelt,  then  he  threw  my  close 
in  a  corner  and  took  out  his  tools 
and  began  to  dig  a  hole  in  the  wall, 
while  father  and  mother  and  aunt 
Sarah  stood  looking  at  him  and  hold- 
ing their  nose,  after  he  dug  the  hole 
he  reached  in  but  dident  find  enny- 
thing,  then  he  stuck  in  his  nose  and 

[  128] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

said,  it  dont  smell  enny  in  there, 
then  they  all  let  go  of  their  nose  and 
took  a  sniff  and  said  murder  it  is 
wirse  than  ever  it  must  be  rite  in  the 
room  somewhere,  then  father  said 
to  me,  look  in  those  close  and  see  if 
there  is  ennything  there,  so  i  looked 
and  found  in  the  poket  of  my  old 
jaket  that  big  roach  that  i  lost, 
when  i  went  fishing  with  Potter 
Gorham.  it  was  all  squashy  and 
smelt  auful.  father  was  mad  and 
made  me  throw  the  jaket  out  of  the 
window  and  wont  let  me  go  fishing 
for  a  week,  ennyway  i  know  now 
what  became  of  my  roach. 

June  26.   Keene  and  Cele  are  go- 
ing to  sing  in  the  Unitarial  quire, 
father  says  he  will  give  them  some 
[  129] 


The  Real  Diary 

bronze  boots,  mother  got  them  some 
new  nets  for  their  hair  today,  girls 
has  lots  more  done  for  them  than 
fellers. 

June  27,  186-  Brite  and  fair, 
school  closed  today,  we  dont  have 
enny  more  school  til  September, 
snapcrackers  have  come.  8  cents  a 
bunch  at  old  Langlys  store.  Lane 
and  Rollins  sell  them  for  10  cents, 
torpedos  8  cents  a  bunch,  pin  wheels 
1  cent  each.  Pewt  is  going  to  have 
a  cannon,  father  wont  let  me  have 
a  cannon,  he  says  i  dont  know  enny 
more  than  to  look  into  it  and  blow 
my  head  off! 

June  28.  clowdy  but  no  rane.  4th 
of  July  pretty  soon,  father  says 
when  he  was  a  boy  all  they  had  for 
C  130] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

fireworks  was  balls  of  wool  soaked  in 
tirpentine  whitch  they  lit  and  fired 
round,  i  am  glad  i  did  not  live 
then. 

June  30.  clowdy  but  no  rane. 
went  in  swimming  3  times  today,  i 
am  going  bullfroging  monday. 

June  31.  no  July  1.  Went  to 
church  today. 

July  2.  i  went  bullfroging  today, 
thunder  storm  today. 

i  have  got  10  bunches  of  snapcrack- 
ers  and  some  slowmatch.  i  spent  a 
dolar  of  my  cornet  money,  i  gess  i 
shall  never  get  that  cornet,  i  hope 
it  wont  rane  the  4th. 

July  3.  Nite  before  4th.  Pewt  and 
Beany  can  stay  out  all  nite.  father 
took  my  snapcrackers  into  his  room 

[  131  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

and  said  if  i  get  up  before  5  i  cant 
have  enny. 

July  4.  i  am  to  tired  to  wright 
enny  thing,  i  never  had  so  much 
fun  in  my  life,  i  only  got  burned  5 
times.  1  snapcracker  went  off  rite 
in  my  face  and  i  coodent  see  enny- 
thing  til  mother  washed  my  eyes 
out.  Zee  Smith  fired  a  torpedo  and 
a  peace  of  it  flew  rite  in  the  corner 
of  my  eye  and  made  a  blew  spot 
there,  i  fired  every  one  of  my 
snapcrackers.  it  took  me  all 
day. 

July  5.  brite  and  fair,  i  dident 
wake  up  today  til  10  o'clock,  i  was 
pretty  sore  and  my  eyes  felt  as  if  they 
was  sawdust  in  them. 

July  6.  brite  and  fair,  father  staid 
[  132  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

home  today,    i  wanted  him  to  go 
fishing  but  he  woodent. 

July  7.  father  told  me  i  cood  go 
fishing  and  stay  all  day.  i  dont  know 
what  had  come  over  him  becaus  most 
always  he  raises  time  when  i  go  fish- 
ing and  dont  come  home  erly.  so  i 
went  and  cought  3  pickerels  and  4 
pirch  and  2  hogbacks  and  went  in 
swiming  2  times,  well  as  i  was  a 
coming  home  2  or  3  people  met  me 
and  said  they  was  company  at  my 
house,  so  when  i  got  home  i  skined 
in  the  back  way  so  as  not  to  see  the 
company  til  i  got  on  my  best  britch- 
es, but  i  met  father  in  the  door  and 
he  told  me  to  go  rite  up  to  mothers 
room  and  see  the  company,  so  i 
skined  up  to  her  room  holding  my 
[  133] 


The  Real  Diary 

hand  behind  me  becaus  i  had  tore  my 
britches  auful  getting  over  a  fence 
and  i  dident  want  the  company  to 
see.  well  what  do  you  think  the 
company  was.  it  was  the  homliest 
baby  you  ever  see,  it  looked  jest  like 
a  munky  and  made  feerful  faces  and 
kinder  squeaked  like.  Mother  was 
sick  and  they  was  a  old  fat  woman 
who  told  me  to  go  out,  but  mother 
said  she  wanted  to  see  me  and  she 
kissed  me  and  asked  me  to  kiss  the 
baby,  i  dident  want  to  but  i  did  it 
becaus  mother  was  sick,  mother 
asked  me  how  many  fish  i  caught 
and  what  kind  and  i  told  her  and  said 
she  shood  have  some  for  her  supper, 
but  she  said  she  gessed  she  woodent 
have  enny  jest  then. 

[  134  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

then  i  went  down  stairs  and  father 
^aid  did  i  like  the  baby  and  i  said  it 
was  homly,  and  he  said  it  was  10 
times  as  good  looking  as  i  was  and 
he  said  he  was  glad  that  when  the 
baby  grode  up  it  woodent  have  Beany 
and  Pewt  to  play  with  and  woodent 
be  tuff  like  me,  and  then  Aunt  Sarah 
said  she  gessed  me  and  Beany  and 
Pewt  wasent  enny  tuflfer  than  father 
and  Gim  Melcher  were  when  they 
was  boys,  and  then  father  lafFed  and 
told  me  to  go  to  bed  and  i  went, 
that  was  a  auful  homly  baby  enny- 
way. 

July  8.  nothing  particular  today, 
you  bet  that  baby  can  howl,  went 
to  church. 

July  9,  brite  and  fair,  most  every 
[  135  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

morning  we  go  up  in  mothers  room 
to  see  the  old  fat  woman  wash  the 
baby  and  hear  it  howl,  it  turns  black 
in  the  face,    i  bet  it  will  be  a  fiter. 

July  10.  i  have  got  a  new  nick- 
name, it  is  yallerlegs.  that  is  becaus 
father  bought  me  a  pair  of  kinder 
yellow  britches,  and  made  me  wear 
them,  i  bet  he  woodent  like  to  be 
called  yallerlegs. 

July  11.  brite  and  fair,  went  in 
swiming  today  to  a  new  place,  we 
call  it  the  stump,  it  is  up  by  the 
eddy. 

July  12.  a  thunder  storm,  in  the 
afternoon  went  fishing  but  dident 
get  a  bite.  Pewts  father  says  fish 
wont  bite  after  a  thunder  storm. 

July  13.  a  auful  hot  day.  tonite 
[  136  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

i  went  up  to  the  depot  to  see  Majer 
Blake  and  Charles  Tole  fite  over  pas- 
sengers to  the  beach. 

July  14.  i  am  going  to  the  beach 
to  stop  with  Beany  in  his  fathers 
tent,   it  is  called  hotel  de  pig. 

July  15.  i  gess  i  will  go  tomor- 
row. 

July  16.  me  and  Beany  went  to 
the  beach  and  stopped  all  day  and  all 
nite.   we  had  a  bully  time. 

July  17.  another  hot  day.  went 
in  swiming  4  times,  my  back  is  all 
burned. 

July  18.  me  and  Beany  got  in  the 
newsleter  today,  the  paper  said  the 
Siamese  twins  was  at  the  beach  stop- 
ing  at  Watsons  tent.  Pewt  was  mad 
becaus  we  got  in  the  paper  and  he 
[137] 


The  Real  Diary 

dident  and  told  all  round  that  it  did- 
ent  mean  me  and  Beany  but  Rashe 
Belnap  and  Horris  Cobbs. 

July  19.  Hot  as  time,  nothing 
particular  today. 

July  20.  Hot  as  time,  nothing 
particular  today. 

July  21.  Auful  hot.  big  thunder 
shower  and  litening  struck  a  tree  in 
front  of  Perry  Moltons  house. 

July  22.  Went  to  church.  Beany 
let  the  wind  out  of  the  organ  and  it 
squeaked  and  made  everybody  laflf. 
Keene  and  Cele  sing  in  the  quire, 
father  feels  pretty  big  about  it. 

July  23.  i  got  stung  by  hornets 
today,  i  went  in  swiming  at  the  ed- 
dy and  when  i  was  drying  my  close 
i  set  rite  down  on  a  stump  where 

[  138  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

there  was  a  nest  of  yellow  bellied 
hornets,  they  all  lit  on  me  and  i 
thought  i  was  afire  for  a  minit.  i 
ran  and  div  rite  off  the  bank  and 
swam  way  out  under  water,  when  i 
came  up  they  were  buzing  round  jest 
where  i  went  down,  when  i  came 
out  the  fellers  put  mud  on  my  bites 
and  after  a  while  they  stoped  hurt- 
ing, i  tell  you  the  fellers  jest  died 
laffing  to  see  me  run  and  holler. 

July  24.  Brite  and  fair,  i  was  all 
sweled  up  with  hornet  bites  but 
they  dident  hurt  enny,  i  looked  jest 
like  Beany  when  he  had  the  mumps, 
everyone  laffed  at  me. 

July  25.  i  got  a  fishhook  in  my 
leg  today,  me  and  Fatty  Melcher 
was  a  fishing  when  we  got  our  lines 

[139] 


The  Real  Diary 

tangled,  i  hollered  first  cut,  but  i 
dident  have  enny  nife  and  Fatty 
woodent  let  me  have  his  nife.  So  we 
got  jerking  our  lines  kinder  mad  like 
and  all  of  a  suddin  the  hook  got  into 
my  leg.  gosh  you  bet  it  hurt,  me 
and  Fatty  got  the  hook  out  but  it 
bled  some,  the  worst  of  it  was  there 
was  a  wirm  on  the  hook  and  when 
we  got  the  hook  out  they  wasent 
enny  wirm  there.  Fatty  says  people 
sometimes  dies  from  having  wirms 
in  them,  i  bet  this  one  has  crawled 
way  in.  it  may  grow  inside  of  me. 
something  is  always  hapening  to 
me.  when  i  got  home  i  went  down 
to  docter  Derborns  store  and  bought 
some  wirm  medicine  and  swalowed 
[  140  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

sum.  it  was  auful  bitter,  it  cost  20 
cents  out  of  my  cornet  money. 

July  26.  brite  and  fair,  i  was  all 
rite  today  except  my  leg  was  stiff! 
mother  asked  what  made  me  lame 
and  she  put  on  a  peace  of  pork,  i 
told  her  about  the  wirm  and  she  said 
the  pork  wood  draw  him  out  if  he 
was  there  but  she  gessed  he  dident 
go  in.  when  i  told  her  about  the 
wirm  medecine  she  jest  set  down  and 
lafFed.  so  i  gess  i  needent  wory 
about  having  wirms.  i  went  down 
to  doctor  Derborns  and  tride  to  get 
him  to  take  the  medicine  back  but 
he  said  he  woodent.  i  think  he  is 
pretty  mean  not  to. 

July  27.  i  coodent  go  in  swiming 
[  141  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

today  on  account  of  my  leg.  all  the 
fellers  went  in  and  i  had  to  set  on 
the  bank  and  see  them. 

July  28.  Coodent  go  in  swiming 
today  either,  my  leg  is  nearly  well, 
mother  took  off  the  pork  today,  it 
was  all  white  where  the  pork  was. 
i  can  go  in  swiming  Monday,  i  went 
down  to  the  library  tonite.  it  is  the 
first  time  i  have  been  down  since  Joe 
Parsons  chased  me  out.  i  gess  he  has 
forgotten  it.  i  got  out  Bush  Boys  to 
read,  it  is  a  splendid  book  about 
shooting  lions  and  zebras  and  gerafs 
and  everything. 

July  29.  i  tried  to  have  father  let 
me  stay  away  from  church  today  be- 
cause my  leg  was  sore  but  he  said  all 
rite  you  can  stay,  but  i  gess  that  leg 
[  142  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

will  be  too  sore  to  let  you  go  in 
swiming  this  week,  so  i  went  to 
church  and  dident  limp  enny.  this 
afternoon  i  set  under  the  apple  tree 
and  read  Bush  Boys,  father  and  mo- 
ther went  to  ride  with  Nellie,  it  is 
the  first  time  mother  has  been  out. 
Aunt  Sarah  took  care  of  the  baby, 
they  gess  they  will  name  it  Edward 
Ashman  Shute.  i  gess  it  is  named 
Ashman  after  the  leader  of  the  band, 
i  am  going  to  tell  him  tomorrow  and 
see  if  he  wont  sell  me  a  cornet  on 
trust,    brite  and  fair. 

July  30.  Brite  and  fair,  i  told  fa- 
ther  i  was  going  down  to  see  Mr, 
Ashman,  and  he  said  if  you  ever  do 
i  will  lick  you.  the  babys  name  is 
Edward  Ashton  Shute  and  not  Ash- 
[  143] 


The  Real  Diary 

man,  i  woodent  name  him  for  enny 
cornet  player,  it  is  pretty  tuff  luck, 
if  i  cood  have  got  that  cornet  i  wood- 
ent have  minded  a  licking,  went  in 
swiming  today. 

July  31.  Franky  had  the  croop 
last  nite.  i  waked  up  and  heard  him 
cough  auful  funny  and  kinder  as  if 
his  throte  was  tite.  i  called  mother 
and  she  came  in  and  hollered  for 
Aunt  Sarah  and  father  and  they 
rushed  round  lively  and  gave  him  egg 
and  sugar  and  put  hot  cloths  on  his 
throte  til  he  howled  and  after  he  cood 
howl  he  was  all  well.  Aunt  Sarah 
took  him  in  with  her  the  rest  of  the 
nite.  father  said  i  was  a  brick  to 
wake  up  and  call  them,  i  dont  know 
[  144  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

vviieri  he  has  called  me  a  brick  before, 
went  in  swiming  3  times  to-day. 

Aug.  1.  brite  and  fair.  Annie 
tumbled  down  the  front  steps  from 
the  top  to  the  bottom,  she  howled 
and  mother  thought  she  was  about 
killed  but  she  was  so  fat  that  she  did- 
ent  hurt  her. 

Aug.  2.  father  came  home  early- 
to-day  and  took  mother  and  Aunt 
Sarah  and  Keene  &  Georgie  to  ride. 
Me  and  Cele  staid  to  look  after  the 
house.  Cele  went  up  stairs  to  look 
after  the  baby  and  when  she  was 
gone  i  got  Annie  and  Franky  fiting. 
it  was  the  funniest  fite  i  ever  saw. 
they  jest  pushed  each  other  round 
and  tried  to  claw  each  other,  while 
[  145  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

they  was  fiting  Cele  came  down  stairs 
and  pulled  them  apart  and  boxed 
their  ears  and  made  them  go  in 
different  rooms.  She  jawed  me  and 
said  she  wood  tell  father,  when  fa- 
ther came  home  she  told  on  me  and 
father  sent  me  to  bed  at  six  o'clock. 
You  jest  wait  Cele  and  you  will  find 
out. 

Aug.  3,  186-  brite  and  fair,  the 
fellers  played  a  pretty  mean  trick  on 
me  tonite.  they  played  it  on  Nibby 
Hartwel  last  nite.  Nibby  is  visiting 
his  aunt  and  comes  from  the  city  and 
is  pretty  green  like  most  folks  from 
the  city,  you  see  if  i  hadent  got  sent 
to  bed  becaus  Cele  told  on  me  i  wood 
have  been  there  and  seen  them  play 
it  on  Nibby.  well  last  nite  all  the 
[  146  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

fellers  was  out.  Whack  and  Boog 
and  Pozzy  and  Pewt  and  Beany  and 
Nipper  and  Cawcaw  and  Pile  and 
Chick  and  Micky  and  Pricilla  and 
Fatty.  Nibby  he  was  there  too. 
they  wanted  to  play  lead  the  old 
blind  horse  to  water  and  i  was  to  be 
the  blind  horse,  they  said  they  had 
some  fun  playing  it  the  nite  before, 
that  was  when  they  played  it  on 
Nibby  but  i  dident  know  that.  Well 
you  blindfole  a  feller  and  give  him  a 
rope  and  a  swich  and  the  other  fellers 
get  on  the  other  end  of  the  rope  and 
the  feller  nearest  you  has  a  bell  and 
rings  it  and  you  pull  and  if  you  can 
pull  him  up  to  you,  you  can  paist 
time  out  of  him  with  your  swich, 
only  if  you  pull  off  your  blindfole 

[147] 


The  Real  Diary 

all  the  fellers  can  paist  time  out  of 
you.  Well  they  blindfoled  me  and 
hollered  ready  and  i  began  to  yank 
and  pull  and  the  feller  rung  his  bell 
and  he  came  pretty  hard  at  first  but 
i  kept  yanking  and  bimeby  he  come 
so  quick  that  i  nearly  fell  over  back 
wards  and  i  felt  him  and  grabed  him 
and  began  to  paist  time  out  of  him 
when  he  grabed  away  my  swich  and 
began  to  paist  me,  and  that  wasent 
fair  and  i  pulled  off  my  blindfole  and 
who  do  you  suppose  it  was,  well  it 
was  Wiliam  Perry  Molton  and  he 
was  mad.  they  had  tied  me  to  his 
door  bell  and  i  had  yanked  out  almost 
ten  feet  of  wire,  when  i  saw  who  it 
was  gosh  i  began  to  holler  and  he 
stoped  licking  me.    i  gess  he  never 

[  1*8] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

licked  anyone  before  because  he  did- 
ent  know  jest  how  to  lay  it  on.  well 
when  he  found  out  how  it  was  he  let 
me  go  but  he  said  he  shood  have  to 
do  something  about  the  boys  distirb- 
ing  him  so.  it  was  a  pretty  mean 
trick  to  play  on  a  feller,  we  are  go- 
ing to  try  arid  play  it  on  Pop  Clark 
tomorrow  nite. 

Aug.  4.  brite  and  fair,  me  and 
Hiram  Mingo  had  a  race  today  to 
see  whitch  cood  swim  the  furtherest 
under  water,  i  beat  him  easy,  he 
can  lick  me  but  i  can  beat  him  swim- 
ing. 

Aug.  5.  Nothing  particular  today, 
only  church. 

Aug.  6.  the  baby  was  sick  today, 
had  the  doctor. 

[  149  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

Aug.  7.  the  baby  was  sicker,  i 
dident  go  in  swiming. 

Aug.  8.  the  baby  is  better  today, 
i  went  in  swiming  5  times. 

Aug.  9.  Raned  all  day.  The  baby 
is  all  rite,  i  went  bullfroging  with 
Chick  Chickering. 

Aug.  10.  Nellie  is  sick.  JoeHanes 
cut  a  hole  in  her  and  put  in  a  onion 
and  some  braded  hair  and  then  father 
took  her  out  to  pastur.  i  cant  ride 
her  for  a  month. 

Aug.  11.  brite  and  fair,  mister 
Watson,  Beanys  father  got  throwed 
off  of  his  horse  today  and  renched 
his  rist.  the  horse  coodent  have 
throwed  him  but  the  gert  broke. 
Mister  Watson  can  ride  splendid. 

[  150  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

Aug-  12.  brite  and  fair.  No  more 
church  this  month,    bully. 

Aug.  13.  brite  and  fair,  i  went 
down  to  Ed  Toles  and  me  and  Ed 
rode  on  the  hack  with  Joe  Parmer. 

Aug.  14.  Ed  Tole  and  Frank 
Hanes  are  mad.  Frank  hollered  over 
to  Ed,  Ed  Tole  fell  in  a  hole  and 
coodent  get  out  to  save  his  sole,  and 
Ed  hollered  back  Frank  Hanes  aint 
got  no  branes.  and  then  they  was 
mad. 

Aug.  15.  Wiliam  Perry  Molton 
has  got  some  ripe  apples  in  his  back 
yard,  me  and  Pewt  helped  him  ketch 
some  hens  today  and  he  said  we  cood 
have  some  apples  if  they  was  any  on 
the  ground,    they  was  only  2  wirmy 

[  151  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

ones  but  before  we  left  5  or  6  fell  off 
i  gess  it  was  becaus  Pewt  pushed  me 
agenst  the  tree,  they  was  pretty 
good  apples  too. 

Aug.  16.  Rany.  i  went  fishing 
with  Potter  Gorham.  caught  3  roach 
and  5  hornpowt.  we  et  them  for  sup- 
per, father  said  i  can  clean  fish  most 
as  well  as  he  can.  he  says  he  will 
come  home  some  day  erly  and  go  a 
fishing. 

Aug.  17.  John  Gardner  has  hung 
up  a  Grant  and  Colfax  flag,  they 
will  be  some  fun  this  fall. 

Aug.  18.  brite  and  fair.  Today  i 
went  fishing  with  Fatty  Melcher. 
we  caught  some  ells  and  some  horn- 
powt, ells  and  hornpowt  can  live  a 
[  152  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

long  time  out  of  water  and  so  when 
i  got  home  i  put  5  that  were  alive  in 
the  rane  water  barril. 

Aug.  19.  brite  and  fair,  it  is  fun 
to  sit  round  all  day  Sunday  and  not 
have  to  go  to  church. 

Aug.  20.  brite  and  fair,  i  had  to 
spend  the  whole  morning  in  going  to 
the  river  for  water  for  washing,  it 
was  wash  day  and  when  mother 
went  to  the  rane  water  barril  there 
was  5  dead  hornpowt  floting  on  the 
top.  she  made  me  tip  the  barrel  over 
and  get  water  from  the  river,  they 
was  some  fun  for  Beany  helped  me 
and  he  stood  in  the  hand  cart  and 
filled  the  tubs  and  all  of  a  sudden  i 
let  go  and  the  old  cart  flew  up  and 
[  153  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

Beany  and  the  tub  and  the  pail  and 
everything  went  rite  in.  Beany  isent 
going  to  speak  to  me  ever  again. 

Aug.  21,  186-  Gosh,  we  are  hav- 
ing fun  now.  what  do  you  think, 
they  is  going  to  be  a  big  mass  meet- 
ing this  fall.  Ben  Butler  and  Jake 
Ely  and  lots  of  old  pelters  are  going 
to  be  here,  and  they  is  going  to  be  4 
or  5  bands  and  lots  of  fun  well  be- 
fore that  comes  they  is  going  to  be 
lots  of  political  meetings  and  the  first 
one  is  to  be  next  week,  and  father  is 
going  to  make  a  speach.  Gim  Luv- 
erin  and  Bil  Morrill  and  General 
Marsten  and  Tom  Levitt,  and  he  is 
a  ripper  to  holler,  and  they  want  fa- 
ther to  make  a  speach.  father  says 
he  must  work  for  the  party  and  per- 

[  154  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

haps  he  can  get  his  salery  rased,  so 
he  has  been  a  riting  every  nite  and 
mumbling  it  over  to  hisself  and  last 
nite  he  said  he  had  got  it.  tonite  he 
is  a  going  to  speak  it  to  us. 

Aug.  22.  last  nite  father  studed 
his  speach  over  and  let  us  stay  up  to 
hear  it.  he  stood  up  and  looked  auful 
stirn  and  put  one  hand  in  the  buzum 
of  his  shert.  i  coodent  help  laffin, 
but  he  told  me  to  shet  up  or  i  cood 
go  to  bed  and  so  i  shet  up.  i  tell  you 
it  was  fine.  It  begun  Mister  Moddi- 
rator  had  i  suposed,  or  for  1  moment 
dremp  that  i  a  humble  otfis  holder 
under  this  glorious  government, 
wood  have  been  called  upon  to  speak, 
i  shood  have  remained  at  home  with 
my  wife  and  my  children. 

[  155  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

i  said,  if  you  dont  want  to  make  a 
speach  why  dont  you  stay  at  home 
that  nite,  and  he  said  1  more  word 
from  you  sir  and  you  go  to  bed.  so  i 
dident  yip  again. 

then  he  went  on  like  this,  were  it 
not  that  a  crool  axident  in  my  erly 
youth,  in  my  far  away  boyhood  days 
prevented  me  from  voluntearing  and 
desecrating  my  life  to  my  countrys 
welfare,  in  the  strugle  jest  ended  i 
wood  have  poared  out  evry  drop  of 
my  blud  to  have  maintaned  her 
owner  and  the  owner  of  her  flag, 
mother  began  to  laif  and  said  George 
how  can  you  tell  such  feerful  stories, 
you  know  you  were  scart  most  to 
deth  becaus  you  was  afraid  you  wood 
be  drafted. 

[  156  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

father  said  they  was  a  lot  of  old 
fellows  traveling  round  the  country 
and  talking  that  way  who  coodent 
have  been  drug  into  the  war  with  a 
ox  chane.  then  he  stood  on  the  oth- 
er leg  a  while  and  said,  it  is  peculi- 
arly aproprate  that  Exeter,  the  berth 
place  of  Lewis  Cas,  the  educater  of 
Webster,  the  home  of  Amos  Tuck, 
of  General  Marston  shood  be  four- 
most  in  the  party  strife,  and  as  for 
me  i  wirk  only  for  my  partys  good, 
my  countrys  good,  without  feer  or 
hope  of  reward,  they  was  a  lot  more 
to  it,  and  some  of  it  you  cood  hear 
about  a  mile  he  hollered  so. 

Aug.  23.  We  are  all  going  the  nite 
of  the  rally,  mother  says  she  wont 
go  for  she  wood  be  ashamed  to  hear 

[  157] 


The  Real  Diary 

father  tell  such  dredful  stories. 
Aunt  Sarah  dont  want  to  go  because 
she  is  afraid  father  will  brake  down, 
but  she  has  got  to  go  with  me  and 
Keene  and  Cele  and  Georgie. 

Aug.  24.  father  practised  his 
speach  tonite  and  we  all  hollered  and 
claped  at  the  fine  parts,  he  has  got 
a  new  pair  of  boots,  they  hurt  like 
time  and  he  only  wears  them  nites 
when  he  is  practising  his  speach. 

Aug.  25.  father  licked  me  tonite 
becaus  i  spoke  some  of  his  speach  to 
Beany,  he  was  auful  mad  and  said  i 
was  the  bigest  fool  he  ever  see.  the 
fellers  have  got  up  a  Grant  Club. 
Pricilla  cant  belong  becaus  he  is  a 
demicrat. 

Aug.  26.  father  called  me  and  Be- 
ll 158  J 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

any  out  behind  the  barn  tonite  and 
gave  us  10  cents  apeace  if  we  wood- 
ent  say  enything  about  his  speach. 
after  supper  father  practised  again 
but  he  dident  holler  so  loud  becaus 
he  was  afraid  some  body  wood  hear 
him  and  mother  dident  want  him  to 
wake  up  the  baby,  and  it  was  Sunday 
too. 

Aug.  27.  it  has  been  brite  and  fair 
all  the  week  and  hot  as  time,  i  have 
to  go  to  the  river  for  soft  water  be- 
cause it  hasent  raned  eny  since  i  had 
to  tip  over  the  rane  water  barril.  i 
have  got  a  little  tirtle  as  big  as  a 
cent,  father  went  down  to  General 
Marstons  office  tonite  to  arrange 
about  the  rally,  he  came  home  and 
practised  about  an  hour,    i  gess  he 

[  150  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

wood  have  practised  all  nite  if  the 
baby  hadent  waked  up  an  hollered. 

Aug.  28.  we  are  all  getting  ready 
for  the  rally.  Keene  and  Cele  and 
Georgie  have  got  some  new  plad 
dresses,  father  has  got  a  pair  of  gray 
britches  and  a  black  coat,  mother 
said  the  rally  was  a  good  thing  be- 
caus  it  was  the  first  time  she  had 
seen  father  dressed  up  since  he  was 
married. 

Aug.  29.  they  was  a  big  thunder 
shower  last  nite.  we  all  got  up  in 
the  nite  and  went  into  mothers 
room,  mother  sat  on  the  fether  bed 
and  all  them  that  was  scart  cood  set 
there,  i  wasent  scart.  father  said  it 
wood  be  jest  the  cussid  luck  to  have 
it  rane  the  nite  of  the  rally. 
[  160] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

Aug.  30.  we  had  the  last  practise 
tonite,  father  put  on  his  best  close 
and  new  boots  and  the  girls  had  on 
their  plad  dresses  and  i  had  on  a  new 
paper  coller.  we  all  set  down  and  fa- 
ther came  in  and  stood  up.  i  tell  you 
he  looked  fine,  well  he  begun,  mis- 
ter modderater  had  i  suposed  or  for  1 
moment  dremp,  and  then  he  forgot 
the  rest,  i  tell  you  he  was  mad.  i 
wanted  to  lafF  but  dident  dass  to. 
well  after  a  while  he  remembered  and 
went  through  it  all  rite,  and  then  he 
went  over  it  2  times  more,  gosh 
what  if  he  shood  forget  it  tomorrow 
nite.  he  is  going  to  wright  some  of 
it  on  his  cufs  and  he  practised  tonite 
making  jestures  so  as  to  bring  his 
cufs;  up  so  that  he  cood  read  it. 

[161] 


The  Real  Diary 

Aug.  31.  the  rally  is  tonite.  father 
woke  us  all  up  last  nite  hollering  in 
his  sleep,  he  dremp  about  the  speach. 
this  morning  he  went  to  Boston 
without  eating  his  brekfast.  i  gess 
he  is  begining  to  be  scart.  i  am  a 
going  to  make  his  boots  shine  today, 
gosh  what  if  he  shood  brake  down,  i 
gess  i  am  getting  a  little  scart  too. 
brite  and  fair. 

Sept.  1.  Last  nite  father  came 
home  and  the  first  thing  he  did  was 
to  send  me  down  to  miss  Pratts  for 
his  shert.  it  was  all  pollished  and 
shone  like  glass,  then  he  asked  if  i 
had  blacked  his  boots  and  then  he  et 
supper,  he  dident  eat  much  though, 
he  said  Mr.  Tuck  came  down  from 
Boston  with  him.  Mr.  Tuck  was  a 
[  162] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

going  to  make  a  speach  first  and 
then  he  was  going  to  introduce  Gim 
Loverin  as  chairman  and  then  Gim 
Loverin  was  a  going  to  call  on  father, 
father  said  he  bet  5  dollars  he  wood 
call  him  Gim  instead  of  mister  mod- 
derater.  father  was  pretty  cross  at 
supper,  i  gess  he  was  getting  scart. 
the  baby  began  to  cry  and  father 
asked  mother  why  she  dident  choak 
the  squawling  brat  and  mother  sorter 
laffed  and  put  the  baby  into  fathers 
lap  and  said  i  gess  you  had  better 
choak  him.  father  laffed  and  began 
to  toss  the  baby  up  and  down,  he 
likes  the  baby  and  while  he  was  play- 
ing with  it  he  was  all  rite,  but  after 
supper  he  was  cross  and  said  he  hed 
a  auful  headake.  then  he  went  prac- 
[  163  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

tising  his  speach  again  so  as  not  to 
call  the  modderater  Gim.  well  we 
got  ready  and  went  down  erly  to  get 
some  good  seats  so  as  to  hear  father 
and  see  him  come  in  with  them  that 
was  to  set  on  the  platform,  we 
wanted  to  go  down  with  father  but 
he  said  he  coodent  bother  with  us. 
but  before  we  went  he  came  down 
stairs  with  his  new  close  on  and  he 
looked  fine  but  his  face  looked  auful 
white,  he  said  he  had  a  headake  but 
as  soon  as  he  got  started  to  speak  it 
wood  all  go  off.  so  we  went  down. 
Cele  had  her  hair  curled  and  Keene 
had  a  new  red  silk  ribbon  on  her  hair 
becaus  her  hair  wont  curl  and  Aunt 
Sarah  had  on  a  new  dolman  with 
beeds  on  it  and  some  long  coral  ear- 
[  164  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

rings  and  they  all  looked  line.  Aunt 
Sarah  took  Georgie  by  the  hand  be- 
caus  she  was  the  littlest  and  me  and 
Keene  and  Cele  followed  on. 

When  we  got  there  the  band  was 
playing  in  front  of  the  town  hall  and 
aunt  Sarah  said  i  cood  stay  out  and 
hear  it  and  then  said  i  cood  sit  with 
Gim  Wingit  and  Willy  Swet  if  i 
wood  behave,  i  said  i  wood  and  we 
lissened  and  after  the  band  went  in 
we  went  too.  most  all  the  seats  were 
taken  and  we  got  some  bully  seats 
way  up  in  front,  i  looked  for  father 
but  coodent  see  him  becaus  the 
speakers  hadent  come  in.  well  jest 
as  soon  as  we  got  in  the  policeman 
was  up  in  front  and  he  said  they  has 
been  to  much  whisling  and  stamping 
C  165  1 


The  Real  Diary 

and  the  next  one  that  whisles  or 
stamps  will  get  put  out.  well  they 
was  old  Swane  and  Brown  and  Kize 
and  Dirgin  and  every  body  kept 
quiet,  after  a  few  minits  the  band 
began  to  play  hale  to  the  chief  and 
the  speakers  came  marching  up  the 
middle  ile.  i  looked  for  father  but 
he  wasnt  there,  evrybody  began  to 
clap  and  stamp  and  Gim  and  Willy 
asked  me  where  my  old  man  was.  i 
stood  up  to  see  if  he  was  there  and 
jest  then  i  saw  the  policeman  a  rush- 
ing at  me.  he  grabed  me  by  the  col- 
lar and  shook  me  round  till  i  dident 
know  which  end  my  head  was  on 
and  he  draged  me  down  the  ile  and 
threw  me  out.  as  we  were  going 
down  the  ile  i  saw  Aunt  Sarah  run- 

[  166] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

ning  down  the  other  ile  as  fast  as  she 
cood  go  with  her  bonnet  on  the  back 
of  her  head  and  Keene  and  Cele  and 
Georgie  following  along  all  bawling, 
she  got  out  in  the  entry  jest  as  he 
was  going  to  put  me  out  of  the  front 
door  and  she  grabed  me  away  from 
him  and  said  you  misable  cowardly 
retch  to  treat  a  boy  that  way.  he 
said  i  whisled  and  she  said  he  dident 
and  you  knew  it  only  you  dident 
dass  take  ennyone  else. 

Then  she  told  us  to  come  home 
and  we  went  home  as  fast  as  we  cood 
all  bawling,  when  we  got  home  mo- 
ther was  sitting  up  alone  and  aunt 
Sarah  started  to  tell  her  and  Keene 
and  Cele  and  Georgie  all  bawled  and 
you  never  heard  such  a  noise,  and 

[167] 


The  Real  Diary 

father  was  in  bed  with  a  headake 
and  hollered  out  what  in  time  is  the 
matter,  and  she  told  him  and  i  heard 
him  jump  out  of  bed  and  in  a  minit 
he  came  out  buttoning  up  his  sus- 
penders. Mother  said  where  in  the 
world  are  you  going  George,  and  he 
said  things  is  come  to  a  pretty  pass 
if  a  boy  cant  go  and  hear  his  father 
make  a  speach  without  being  banged 
round  by  a  policeman,  i  am  going 
down  to  knock  the  heads  off  every 
policeman  there,  and  he  reeched  for 
his  vest,  mother  said  George,  dont 
you  go  near  the  hall,  and  father  said 
he  cood  lick  anny  2  men  on  the  po- 
lice force  easy  and  he  would  show 
them  how  to  slam  people  round  and 

[  168  ] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

he  reeched  for  his  coat,  and  Keene 
and  Cele  and  Georgie  began  to  bawl 
again  to  think  he  wood  get  hurt  and 
aunt  Sarah  and  mother  said  you  had 
better  not  go  George,  and  father  said 
he  wood  give  them  more  fun  in  5 
minits  than  they  had  seen  in  a  polit- 
ical rally  in  5  years  and  he  reeched 
for  his  boots  and  mother  said  what 
will  they  think  of  you  after  you  have 
sent  word  that  you  are  too  sick  to 
make  a  speach,  to  see  you  come  rush- 
ing into  the  hall  and  go  punching 
the  policemen  and  father  had  got  on 
1  boot  and  when  she  said  that  he  be- 
gan to  look  kinder  sick  and  said, 
thunder  that  is  so.  and  then  his 
headake  got  wirse  and  he  gave  me  a 
[  169] 


The  Real  Diary 

twenty  five  cent  scrip  and  Keene  and 
Cele  and  Georgie  ten  cents  each  and 
he  went  to  bed  and  so  did  we. 

i  wonder  if  his  head  aked  really  so 
he  coodent  make  a  speach  or  if  he 
was  scart.    i  bet  he  was  scart. 

school  commences  monday.  father 
hasent  asked  once  about  my  diry,  so 
i  aint  going  to  wright  enny  more. 


THIRTY  YEARS  (OR  MORE)  AFTER. 

On  looking  back  over  the  pages  of 
the  "Diary"  it  appears  to  me  that 
some  sort  of  an  amende  honorable  is 
due  to  those  citizens  now  living,  and 
the  relatives  and  friends  of  those  now 
dead,  whose  names  have  appeared  in 
[170] 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

the  " Diary' -  and  who  have,  so  to 
speak,  been  handled  without  gloves. 

That  I  have  been  neither  mobbed, 
nor  horsewhipped,  nor  sued,  nor 
prosecuted,  but  that  I  have  enjoyed 
many  a  good  laugh  with — and  have 
received  many  pleasant  words  from 
— the  victims,  and  their  friends,  is 
good  evidence  that  they,  and  their 
more  fortunate  brothers  who  have 
not  been  therein  mentioned,  have 
taken  the  f '  Diary ' '  in  the  very  spirit 
in  which  it  was  published,  that  of 
affectionate  and  amusing  retrospect. 

And  it  is  indeed  with  affection 
that  I  recall  those  men,  at  that 
time  in  their  prime.  That  I  could 
not  then  understand  the  reason  why 
they  did  not  fully  enter  into  and  aj> 

[  171  ] 


The  Real  Diary 

predate  the  spirit  that  prompted  me 
and  my  boon  companions  to  trans- 
gress so  many  rules,  laws,  and  stat- 
utes is  not  surprising.  Boys  seldom 
can  understand  it.  But,  although  I 
now  fully  appreciate  it,  I  often 
wonder  at  the  spirit  that  prompted 
so  many  of  those  men  in  after  years 
to  show  me  so  many  kindnesses,  so 
much  encouragement,  and  such  great 
forbearance. 

So  many  inquiries  have  been  made 
of  me  about  that  cornet,  the  soul-fill- 
ing ambition  of  my  early  years,  that 
I  feel  that  the  uncertainty  in  regard 
to  that  delightful  instrument  ought 
to  be  cleared  up.  I  never  did  save 
up  enough  money  to  buy  a  cornet. 
I  haven't  to  this  day.  But  many 
C  172  3 


Of  a  Real  Boy 

years  afterwards,  when  my  ambition 
had  been  turned  into  other  and 
equally  profitless  channels,  upon  the 
death  of  a  dear  friend  his  beautiful 
cornet  was  sent  me.  I  have  it  now, 
as  the  neighbors  and  the  members 
of  my  family  can  testify  fully  and 
with  deep  feeling,  if  called  upon. 

H.  A.  S. 


[178] 


Dramatis  Personam 


A  GOOD  many  years  ago,  dur- 
ing my  college  days,  it  was 
^  my  custom  and  that  of  my 
room-mate,  Brown  of  Exeter,  to 
make  our  room  the  gathering-place 
for  Exeter  boys,  both  "stewdcats" 
and  homesick  Exeter  youths  then 
filling  positions  in  Boston.  It  hap- 
pened that  frequently  undergradu- 
ates from  other  towns  and  cities  came 
in  at  these  Saturday  evening  gather- 
ings and  it  was  a  matter  of  wonder 
to  them  that  we  had  so  much  to  talk 
about  in  relation  to  our  native  town ; 
and  it  was  their  frequent  remark 
that  "either  Exeter  is  a  remarkable 
[  177  ] 


Dramatis  Personae 

place,  or  you  are  a  remarkably  loyal 
set  of  fellows." 

That  Exeter  is  a  remarkable  place 
is  an  axiom,  and  no  better  evidence 
of  the  fact  can  be  found  (were  evi- 
dence necessary  to  sustain  an  axiom) 
than  in  the  loyalty  that  every  citizen 
displays,  and  the  sincere  love  that 
prompts  every  one  who  has  ever 
come  under  the  spell  of  our  dear  old 
town  to  revisit  her  at  every  oppor- 
tunity. 

Where  else  could  a  diary  of  this 
nature,  dealing  with  actual  persons 
and  actual  events,  be  published  and 
be  received  with  such  absolute  good- 
nature and  even  enthusiasm  by  the 
persons  now  living  who  are  men- 
tioned therein? 

[  178] 


Dramatis  Personae 

It  is  therefore  with  affection  as 
well  as  amusement  that  I  append 
the  following  brief  biographical 
sketches  of  persons  mentioned  in  the 
"Diary,"  preserving  as  nearly  as 
possible  the  order  of  their  appearance 
in  the  book.  As  many  readers  of 
the  "Diary"  have  expressed  a  desire 
to  know  more  of  the  subsequent  his- 
tories and  achievements  of  those 
therein  mentioned,  it  is  hoped  this 
information  will  satisfy  a  curiosity 
and  interest  which,  to  a  loyal  son  of 
Exeter,  appear  quite  natural :  — 

1.   Father.    George  S.  Shute. 

A  native  of  Exeter.  For  twenty-six  years  a  clerk 
in  the  Boston  Naval  Office.  Still  living  in  Ex- 
eter, an  old  man  with  a  young  tongue ;  in  fact, 
the  quickest  man  at  repartee  in  Exeter. 

C  179  ] 


Dramatis  Personae 

2.  Mother. 

My  mother  died  in  the  winter  of  1895.  No 
words  can  do  justice  to  her  qualities.  "A 
sweeter  woman  ne'er  drew  breath." 

3.  "Gim"  Melcher. 

An  old  friend  of  my  fathers.  Died  in  Maiden 
a  few  years  ago. 

4.  Some  of  the  men  who  were  "wrighting 

fast"  in  the  Custom  House  were  the 
following: — 

George  Davis,  of  Lexington,  who  a  year  ago 
celebrated  his  fiftieth  consecutive  year  of  service 
in  the  Naval  Office;  Colonel  Ivory  Pope,  of 
Cambridge;  Benjamin  A.  Sidwell,  of  East 
Boston;  Jacob  A.  Howe,  of  Maiden;  Frank 
Harriman,  a  brother  of  the  late  Governor  Harri- 
man  of  Concord,  N.  H. ;  Hiram  Barrus,  of 
Beading,  Mass.,  deceased;  C.  C.  Whittemore, 
of  Portsmouth,  N.  H. ;  Charles  Mudge,  of 
Maiden;  Matthew  F.  Whittier,  of  Medford, 
a  brother  of  the  poet  Whittier,  and  a  newspaper- 
writer  of  considerable  prominence,  writing  under 

[  180  ] 


Dramatis  Personae 

the  pen-name  of  "Ethan  Spike" ;  and  Tristram 
Talbot,  of  Newburyport,  with  others  whom  the 
writer  does  not  now  recall.  A  few  years  later 
the  writer  spent  several  of  his  college  vacations 
as  deputy  clerk  in  the  same  Naval  Office,  and 
made  pleasant  acquaintances  with  all  of  the 
above-named  men.  He  found  them  very  com- 
petent clerks,  courteous  gentlemen,  and  the  best 
story-tellers  that  he  ever  knew,  and  recollects 
those  vacations  as  very  pleasant  periods  in  his 
school  life.  Some  of  them  still  hold  positions  in 
the  Custom  House. 

5.  Charles  "  Talor" :  Charles  Taylor. 

A  great  friend  of  the  family.  Died  in  Exeter 
about  ten  years  ago. 

6.  "Beany":  E.  L.  Watson. 

In  business  at  Williamstown,  Mass.  Attained 
his  boyhood  ambition  and  married  Lizzie  "Tole," 
Ed's  sister. 

7.  "Pewter":  C.  E.  Purington. 

My  near  neighbor,  a  decorative  painter,  who 
early  displayed  talent  in  this  direction. 

[181] 


Dramatis  Personae 

8.  "Skinny  Bruce":  Wm.  J.  Bruce. 

A  tinsmith  of  Exeter  who  still  thinks  he  could 
have  licked  Frank  Elliott. 

9.  Frank  Elliott 

A  successful  mechanic  in  Boston,  who  is  confi- 
dent that  he  could  have  licked  "  Skinny  "  Bruce. 

10.  "Nipper":  John  A.  Brown. 

Exeter.  Chairman  of  the  School  Board.  Trustee 
of  the  Seminary.  Trustee  of  the  Library.  My 
room-mate  at  Harvard. 

11.  "Micky"  Gould. 

I  do  not  know  what  became  of  "  Micky."  Wher- 
ever he  is,  there  is  a  good-natured,  jolly  man. 

12.  Mr.  Winsor. 

Address  not  known.  How  he  could  throw  a 
snowball. 

13.  "Ed"  Towle. 

Exeter,  N.  H.  With  a  keen  memory  for  old 
days. 

14.  "Dany"  Wingate. 

•    A  very  prominent  man.    The  father  of  J.  D.  R 

C  182] 


Dramatis  Personae 

and  C.  E.  L.  Wingate  of  the  Boston  Journal. 
Died  at  Exeter  many  years  ago. 

15.  "Whacker":  Col.  A.  M.  Chadwick. 

Lowell,  Mass. 

16.  "Pozzy":  Austin  K.  Chadwick. 

Lowell,  Mass. 

Two  of  the  best  known  and  most  respected  citi- 
zens of  Lowell.  Dignified  and  sedate,  but  just 
touch  on  old  Exeter  days  and  watch  their  eyes 
twinkle  and  their  tongues  loosen. 

17.  "Pricilla" :  Prof.  Charles  A.  Hobbs. 

Boston.  Has  written  some  dreadful  mathemat- 
ical works,  and  revisits  Exeter  often,  but  not 
often  enough. 

18.  "Pheby":  Charles  A.  Taylor. 

Has  inherited  the  very  qualities  that  made  his 
father  so  good  a,  friend. 

19.  "Lubbin" 

Address  not  known. 

20.  "Nigger"  Bell 

So  called  because  his  hair  was  so  very  white. 
[  183  ] 


Dramatis  Personae 

Professor  of  Chemistry  in  a  Western  University. 
Died  recently  in  Maiden. 

21.  Tommy  Thompson:  R.  G.  Thompson. 

New  London,  Conn. 

22.  "Dutchy":    Dr.    William     A.   Sea- 

MANS. 

New  York  City.  Fullback  on  the  Harvard  '77 
eleven.  There  are  several  ex-principals  of  the 
Exeter  High  School  who  will  remember  Thomp- 
son and  Seamans  in  very  clear  and  vivid  colors. 

23.  "Chick"  Chickering:    Prof.   John   J. 

Chickering. 

Flushing,  L.  I.  Commissioner  of  Public  Educa- 
tion of  New  York  State. 

24.  "Tady" :  Timothy  Finton. 

Exeter.  An  expert  wood- worker  with  a  leaning 
for  politics. 

25.  "Gim"  Wingate:   James  D.  P.  Win- 

gate. 

Winchester,  Mass.  The  business  manager  of  the 
Boston  Journal 

[  184] 


Dramatis  Personae 

26.  "Skipy" :  H.  C.  Moses. 

Exeter.  For  many  years  in  the  wholesale  wool 
business  in  Boston.  One  of  the  keenest  sports- 
men and  best  wing  shots  in  New  Hampshire. 

27.  "Pile":  John  G.  Wood. 

Chicago.  Manager  of  the  McKay  Cordage  Fac- 
tory in  Chicago.  Promises  to  return  to  Exeter 
when  he  has  made  his  "  pile "  ($100,000). 
From  present  indications,  the  prospect  is  favor- 
able. 

28.  Billy  Folsom :  Wm.  H.  Folsom. 

Exeter.  Member  of  the  firm  of  E.  Folsom  & 
Co.  Brass  Works.  One  of  Harvard's  greatest 
pitchers. 

29.  "Hoppy"  Gadd. 

A  very  eccentric  but  sterling  citizen,  who  could 
make  cowhide  boots  which,  like  the  panels  in 
the  "  one-horse  shay,"  "  would  last  like  iron  for 
things  like  these.' '  Died  in  Exeter  a  few  years 
ago. 

30.  "Si"  Smith. 

The  man  with  the  "  funny  sine."  Died  in 
Exeter  nearly  thirty  years  ago. 

[  185  ] 


Dramatis  Personae 

81.    "  Gran  "  Miller  and  "Ben  n  RundleL 

Addresses  not  known. 

32.  Squire  Lane. 

Died  in  Lynn. 

33.  Charles  Buidey. 

Died  in  Exeter.  For  many  years  Treasurer  of 
Phillips  Exeter  Academy,  and  Superintendent 
of  the  "  Unitarial "  Sunday  School. 

34.  "Keene":  My  Sister,  Mrs.  C.  E.  By- 

INGTON. 

Exeter.  A  very  able  and  accomplished  woman. 
The  one  to  whom  all  members  of  the  family  go 
when  in  trouble. 

35.  Lucy  Watson. 

Mrs.  Frank  Conner  of  Lynn. 

36.  "  Cur  ley"  Conner:  Mr.  Frank  Conner* 

Lynn.    Husband  of  the  aforesaid. 

37.  "Jo"  Parsons:    Mr.  Joseph  S.   Par- 

sons. 

Boston.    An  expert  bookkeeper. 
[  186] 


Dramatis  Personae 

38.  "Billy"  Swett:  Mr.  Wm.  Swett. 

Jamaica  Plain.    I  remember  him  as  one  of  the 
most  polite  and  affable  boys  I  ever  met. 

39.  Mr.  "Lovel"  who  said,   "o  hell":   C. 

Lovell,  2d. 

One  of  the  best  amateur  actors  and  j oiliest  men 
I  ever  knew.    Died  recently. 

40.  John  Flanagan. 

Exeter.    A  tinsmith  and  co-laborer  with  *  Skin- 
ny" Bruce. 

41.  "Gimmy"  Fitzgerald. 

Died  at  Exeter  thirty  years  ago, 

42.  "Old"  Head:  Oren  Head. 

Many  students  will  affectionately  remember  him. 
Deceased. 

43.  "Bob"  Carter. 

The  old  janitor  of  the  Town  Hall.    Gruff,  but 
very  kind-hearted.    Deceased. 

44.  "Wats":  Irving  M.  Watson. 

Father  of  "Beany,"  and  pleasantly  like  him. 

[187] 


Dramatis  Personae 

45.  John  Getchell. 

A  liberal,  free,  and  kind-hearted  Exeter  mer- 
chant.   Deceased. 

46.  Eben  Fohom. 

Uncle  of  "Billy/*  and  head  of  the  firm  of  which 
Billy  is  a  member. 

47.  "Charlie":  Dr.  C.  H.  Gerrish. 

48.  "Doc" Prey:  Dr.  J.  E.  S.  Pray. 

Gentlemen  both,  of  whom  the  writer  can  say 
everything  good. 

49.  Alice  " Gewell"  who  was  "a  dary  maid": 

Miss  Alice  Jewell. 

Instructor  of  singing  in  the  schools  of  Exeter. 

50.  "OldKize":  Philander  Keyes. 

A  policeman  of  thirty  years  ago.    Deceased. 

51.  "Bill"  Hartnett. 

Who  used  to  make  it  lively  for  the  last  men- 
tioned. A  man  of  many  good  qualities  notwith- 
standing.   Deceased. 

[  188  j 


Dramatis  Personae 

52.  "Old"  Swain. 

A  contemporary  of  "Old  Kize/'  and  a  co-laborer 
in  the  same  vineyard. 

53.  "Mister"  Gordon:    Hon.    Nathaniel 

Gordon. 

A  retired  lawyer  of  Exeter. 

54.  Dora  Moses. 

55.  Mary  "Loverin":  Mrs.  Mary  Leth- 

bridge. 

Two  beautiful  girls  and  inseparable  companions, 
whose  deaths  were  untimely  and  irreparable. 

56.  "Cele":  My  sister,  Celia  E.  Shute. 

Exeter.  A  stenographer,  and  a  writer  of  short 
stories  for  magazines. 

57.  "Cawcaw"  Harding:  Prof.  B.  F.  Hard- 

ing. 

Boston.  An  early  advocate  of  those  methods  of 
instruction  that  result  in  "mens  sana  in  corpore 
sano." 

[  189] 


Dramatis  Personae 

58.  "Doctor'"  Dearborn. 

A  most  eccentric  old  apothecary.  Died  in  Exeter 
a  few  years  ago. 

59.  "Aunt  Sarah":  Miss  Sarah  F.  Shute. 

Exeter.  The  favorite  aunt  of  a  large  family,  all 
of  whose  geese  are  swans. 

60.  "Fatty"  Melcher :  F.  A.  Melcher. 

Boston.    So  named  because  he  was  not  fat. 

61.  "Genny"    Morrison:    Mrs.    John    J. 

Joyce. 

Andover,  Mass.  By  not  appearing  at  our  Gram- 
mar School  Reunion  *  Genny  "  disappointed  five 
hundred  people. 

62.  J.  Albert  Clark. 

Exeter.  One  of  the  proprietors  of  the  Exeter 
Machine  Works.  He  has  always  had  a  very 
kindly  interest  in  "Beany"  and  "Plupy,"  in 
spite  of  the  many  annoyances  he  suffered  at 
their  boyish  hands. 

06.  "Bill"  Morrill:  Mr.  Wm.  B.  Morrill. 

For  many  years  selectman  of  Exeter.  Died  in 
1878. 

[  190  J 


Dramatis  Personae 

64.  "Dave"  Quimby. 

Every  student  will  recollect  him.  Died  at  Exeter 
recently. 

65.  "Chitter":  James  Robinson. 

A  truckman  in  Boston. 

66.  "Boog"  Chadwick. 

A  New  York  broker,  whose  "  heart 's  in  the  high- 
lands;" to  wit,  Exeter. 

67.  "Pop"  Clark:  Will  Clark. 

Roxbury,  Mass.  A  born  comedian  and  a  delight- 
fully entertaining  man. 

68.  "Shinny"  Thyng. 

One  of  the  few  Exeter  boys  who  continues  his 
father's  business  at  the  old  stand.  If  more  did 
the  same,  the  prosperity  of  country  towns  would 
be  assured. 

69.  "Gim"  Erly. 

Lives  somewhere  in  the  West. 

70.  "Honey"  Donovan:  William  Dono- 

van. 

Providence. 

[  191] 


Dramatis  Personae 

71.  "Mose  "  Gordon. 

A  Texas  cattle-man. 

72.  Mr.  Lamed. 

Unitarian  clergyman.    Deceased. 

73.  "Gil"  Steele. 

A  merchant  in  Denver. 

74.  "Mis  Packer  d" :  Mrs.  Mary  Packard. 

A  famous  local  singer,  now  living  in  California. 

75.  "  Gim  Loverin":  James  M.  Lovering. 

A  very  shrewd  politician.    Deceased. 

76.  "Old  Mister  Stickney" :  Judge  W.  W. 

Stickney. 

With  whom  I  studied  law.  Deceased  ;  not,  how- 
ever, because  of  that  fact.  Judge  Stickney  was 
a  sound  lawyer  and  an  upright,  kind-hearted 
man. 

77.  "Ed"  Dearborn. 

The  old  bell-ringer.    Deceased. 

78.  John  Quincy  "Ann"  Pollard:  J.  Q.  A. 

Pollard. 

A  very  old  man,  upon  whom  the  boys  were  wont 
[  192] 


Dramatis  Personae 

to  play  tricks,  but  who  had  developed  wonder- 
ful precision  of  aim  with  a  knotted  cane.  De- 
ceased. 

79.  Dan  Ranlet :  D.  W.  Ranlet. 

Boston  Produce  Exchange. 

80.  George  M.  Perkins. 

For  many  years  an  expressman  between  Boston 
and  Exeter. 

81.  John  E.  Gibson. 

Master  of  the  Agassiz  School,  Boston.  Residence, 
Jamaica  Plain.  I  take  the  opportunity  to  notify 
him  that  the  Exeter  High  School  holds  its  quin- 
quennial reunion  June,  1903. 

82.  Isaac  Shute. 

A  retired  merchant  of  Exeter.    Deceased. 

83.  Major  Blake. 

A  famous  Boniface,  and  for  many  years  proprie- 
tor of  the  Squamscott.    Deceased. 

84.  Charles  D.  Towle. 

An  equally    famous    livery-stable   keeper,    who 
[  193] 


Dramatis  Personae 

periodically  fought  to  a  finish  with  Major  Blake 
for  passengers  to  Hampton  Beach.    Deceased. 

85.  Frank  Haines. 

A  farmer.    Residence,  Exeter. 

86.  "The  Baby":  Edward  A.  Shute, 

Exeter.    Who  can  now  handle  his  elder  brother 
with  ease, 

87.  "Frankie":  Frank  F.  Shtjte. 

Who  thinks  he  can  do  likewise,  but  cannot.    A 
hotel-keeper  at  Lakewood,  New  Jersey. 

88.  "Annie" :  Miss  Annie  P.  Shute. 

Who,  by  virtue  of  a  clerkship  in  my  office,  owns 
the  entire  establishment. 

89.  "Georgie" 

Instructor  in  Latin  and  French  in  the  Albany 
Academy,  Albany,  N.  Y. 

90.  "Nibby" 

A  summer  visitor  named  Hartwell.    Deceased. 

91.  Hiram  Mingo. 

A  colored  boy.    Address  not  known. 
[  194  ] 


Dramatis  Personae 

92.  Joe  Palmer. 

A  hackman  with  whom  the  boys  used  to  ride. 
Address  not  known. 

93.  John  E.  Gardner. 

A  member  of  an  old  family  of  merchants  in  Ex- 
eter. Deceased.  Brother  of  Elizabeth  Gardner 
Bouguereau,  the  artist. 

94.  General  Marston. 

A  famous  New  Hampshire  lawyer  and  veteran 
of  the  Civil  War.    Deceased. 

95.  Amos  Tuck. 

A  famous  lawyer,  politician,  financier,  and 
Member  of  Congress.    Deceased. 

96.  Mr.  Gravel. 

Address  not  known. 

97.  Elkins  and  Graves. 

Famous  auctioneers  at  that  period.    Deceased. 

98.  Scott  "Briggam" 

One  of  the  boys  then,  one  of  the  boys  now.  Ex- 
eter. 

C  195] 


Dramatis  Personae 

99.  Charlie  Woodbury. 

Deceased. 

100.  "Potter  "  Gorham :  Arthur  Gorham. 

Killed  by  an  accidental  discharge  of  his  gun 
nearly  thirty  years  ago.    A  born  naturalist. 

101.  "Old  Francis:' 

For  thirty-three  years  principal  at  the  Grammar 
School  at  Exeter.  On  his  resignation,  a  few 
years  ago,  a  reunion  was  held  which  was  at- 
tended by  old  pupils  from  every  State  in  the 
Union,  to  do  him  honor.  Still  hale  and  hearty, 
and  living  in  Exeter. 

102.  Doctor  Perry. 

An  old  family  physician,  who  has  ushered  more 
children  and  children's  children  into  the  world 
than  any  man  in  the  county,  and  who  is  beloved 
and  revered  by  every  one  of  them.  Miss  Jewett, 
in  her  "Country  Doctor/'  based  her  delightful 
description  upon  Dr.  William  G.  Perry,  her 
uncle.    Living  in  Exeter. 

103.  John  Adams. 

Who  has  trimmed  enough  carriages  to  set  all 
[  196  J 


Dramatis  Personae 

New  Hampshire  awheel,  and  who  still  practises 
his  trade  in  Exeter. 

104.  Nell    Towle:    Mrs.    George    W. 
Hooper. 

Exeter.  As  rosy,  good-natured,  and  musically 
inclined  as  she  was  in  the  good  old  days. 

105.  William  Perry  Moulton. 

A  prosperous  real-estate  and  insurance  man, 
who  unfortunately  for  his  peace  of  mind  tried 
to  raise  Bartlett  pears,  Concord  grapes,  and  As- 
trachan  apples  in  the  neighborhood  that  was  in- 
fested by  "  Plupy  '*  and  his  associates  ;  who  fre- 
quently tracked,  chased,  and  caught  them  red- 
handed,  but  who  was  too  kind-hearted  even 
then  to  deprive  them  of  their  ill-gotten  gains. 

106.  "Chris"  Staples. 

Who  remembers  the  fight  with  Charlie  Clark. 

107.  Charlie  Clark. 

Deceased.  Just  before  he  died  he  read  the 
"  Diary  "  and  sent  word  to  the  author  that  he 
remembered  the  scene  in  which  he  figured  and 
much  enjoyed  the  book. 

C  197  ] 


Dramatis  Persona; 

108.  Mr.  Ashman. 

A  veteran  band-leader  of  Boston. 

109.  Frank  Hervey. 

A  veteran   restaurant-keeper   in   Exeter.    Now 
living  in  Concord,  N.  H. 

110.  "Rashe  Belnap" :  William  H.  Bel- 
knap. 

A  retired  banker  and  real-estate  man  of  Exeter. 
Town  clerk  of  Exeter  for  twenty-five  years. 

111.  Henry  Sivipson. 

Periodical  dealer  in  the  late  sixties.    Living  in 
Maine. 

112.  Luke  Manioc. 

Now  living  in  Texas.    As  a  boy  he  could  curve 
a  snowball  round  the  corner,  like  T.  B.  Aldrich's 
"Binny  Wallace." 

113.  "Bob  Ridley" :  George  Elliott. 

Exeter.    A  right  good  fellow. 

114.  Sam  Dyer. 

A   rather   eccentric   blacksmith.     Died   in  the 
West. 

C  198] 


Dramatis  Personae 

115.  Horace  Cobb. 

A  good-natured,  short,  and  extremely  fat  man. 
A  native  of  Exeter,  and  last  of  a  very  prominent 
family.    Died  several  years  ago. 

116.  Dennis  Cokely. 

Address  not  known.  I  have  always  felt  badly 
"to  think  the  fight  was  throwed  away,  and 
neither  cf  them  licked." 

117.  Johnnie  Rogers. 

A  cousin  of  the  Chadwicks.    Deceased. 

118.  Cap.  John  W.  Chadwick. 

A  retired  sea-captain.  Father  of  "Foe," 
"Boog,"  "Whack/'  and  "Willie,"  "Whack's 
little  brother."  A  most  cultivated  gentleman, 
whose  heart  was  kind,  but  whose  word  was  law. 
Deceased. 

119.  "Zee"  Smith:  Frank  Smith. 

Deceased  in  Lowell. 

120.  Miss  Pratt. 

A  laundress  much  patronized  by  students.  She 
accumulated  much  property  by  practising  the 
gentle  art  of  polishing  shirts. 

L  199  ] 


Dramatis  Personam 

121.  "Old Durgin" :  Mr.  Ezra  Durgin. 

A  rather  quick-tempered  but  worthy  policeman, 
contemporary  with  "Old  Swain"  and  "Old 
Kize." 

122.  Various  "stewdcats" 

Who  have  played  their  parts  and  gone. 

123.  "Plupy?  "Skinny"  "Polelegs"-  The 
Author. 

De  minimis  non  curat  lex. 


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